History of the Day: 10/21

Happy birthday to the light bulb, first lit on this day in 1879. Also, requiem in aeternam to that same light bulb, which died 13.5 hours later. In celebration and mourning, here are some of my favorite light bulb jokes:

How many worship leaders who play guitar does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but sooooon all those arooooound can waaaaarm up in its gloooooowiiiiiing!

How many AA Sponsors does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one, but the lightbulb first has to admit that it's gone out.

How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?

We don't know yet. They're still waiting on a part.

How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifteen to blame Bush that it went out, 45 to try to add public funding riders for research into more environmentally-friendly methods of lighting and 21 to protest the oppressive policies of the light-bulb elite.

How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?

Twelve to investigate Clinton's involvement in the failure of the old bulb, 23 to deregulate the light bulb industry, and 51 to pass a tax credit for light bulb changers.

How many Stormtroopers does it take to change a lightbulb?

35. One to change the bulb, and 34 to die needlessly in this daring operation, while having rocks dropped on them by Ewoks.

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the giraffe, and one to put the clocks in the bathtub.

How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but she changes it into a toad.

How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it, and one not to change it.

or

If a light bulb goes out, and no one sees it, does it make a sound?

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

• Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
• Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
• Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
• Rottweiler: Make me.
• Lab: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?
• German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
• Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.
• Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
• Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
• Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.
• Maltese: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
• Mastiff: Mastiffs are not afraid of the dark.
• Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
• Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover.
• Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there....
• Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
• Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle....
• Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?
• Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz.z.z.z..z..z..z...z
• Cat: Cats do not change light bulbs.

How many educators does it take to change a light bulb?

109. Seven on the Light Bulb Task Force Sub-committee who report to the 12 on the Light Bulb Task Force, appointed by the 15 on the Trustee Board. Their recommendation is reviewed by the Finance Committee Executive of 5, who place it on the agenda of the 18 member Finance committee. If they approve, they bring a motion to the 27 member School Board, who appoint another 12 member review committee. If they recommend that the School Board proceed, a resolution is brought to the Business Meeting. They appoint another 8 member review committee. If their report to the next Business Meeting supports the changing of the light bulb, and the Board votes in favor, the responsibility to carry out the light bulb change is passed on to the Trustee Board, who in turn appoint a 7 member committee to find the best price on new light bulbs. They report back to the Trustee Board who then commissions the Trustee in charge of the janitor to ask him to make the change. By then the janitor discovers that one more light bulb has burned out.