History of the Day: 10/3

Well, the International Day of Non-Violence is over, so it's time to get back to business as usual. Congratulations to Dafydd ap Gruffydd, prince of Gwynedd in Wales (can you say that five times fast?), the first person to be executed by being hanged, drawn and quartered. In 1283, Dafydd was dragged through the streets of Shrewsbury at a horse's tail then hanged alive, revived, then disembowelled and his entrails burned before him for "his sacrilege in committing his crimes in the week of Christ's passion," and then his body cut into four quarters "for plotting the king's death."

I don't know about the king, but I'm sure Jesus is very pleased.

Happy Anniversary to two, beloved, kids shows which both debuted on this day in 1955; Captain Kangaroo and The Mickey Mouse Club. I would wear my green jeans to school today ... but oh, well. I'll have to settle for listening to Frank Zappa's Son of Mr. Green Jeans.

In 1990, Germany reunified. I remember that! I also remember, five years later, when O.J. Simpson was found not guilty of the murders of his ex-wife Nicole and her friend Ronald Goldman. Seems like just yesterday when he was in court ... oh, wait, it was.

Happy Birthday to the Rev. Al Sharpton. He feels good! Know why?

What I do functionally is what Dr. King, Reverend Jackson and the movement are all about; but I learned manhood from James Brown. I always say that James Brown taught me how to be a man.

Finally, a fond farewell to Woody Guthrie, bard of the impoverished American of the Depression and the Dust Bowl. He wrote simple songs that anyone could play and sing:

If you play more than two chords, you're showing off.

And, then, he let everybody play and sing them:

This song is Copyrighted in U.S., under Seal of Copyright #154085, for a period of 28 years, and anybody caught singin it without our permission, will be mighty good friends of ours, cause we don't give a darn. Publish it. Write it. Sing it. Swing to it. Yodel it. We wrote it, that's all we wanted to do.

He wrote a song which should be our National Anthem, and which has several often ignored but wonderful verses, like:

As I went walking I saw a sign there
And on the sign it said "No Trespassing."
But on the other side it didn't say nothing,
That side was made for you and me.

By the way, double-negatives weren't always the mark of an uneducated speaker. In Middle English, it was the proper way to say things. I mean, if it's good enough for Chaucer, it should be good enough for me, right?

Ther nas no man no wher so vertuous (There was not no man nowhere so virtuous)
He nevere yet no vileynye ne sayde / In all his lyf unto no maner wight. (He never yet no vileness ever said / In all his life to any man.)

Getting back to Guthrie, he had an interesting idea about who should be president.

History of the Day: 10/1

Today is World Vegetarian Day! So let's all celebrate and eat a vegetarian. By the way, for those of you who like the taste human flesh, but are worried about the fat content; now there's Hufu, the tofu product that tastes like people. Think of it as Soylent Green with an emphasis on the soy. According to the company it's:

The healthy human flesh alternative for cannibals who want to quit.

Yes, that's right, all you cannibals out there! The company promises you:

No more Friday night hunting raids! Stay home and enjoy the good healthy taste of hufu.

And, for the rest of us, who always wondered what the attraction of being a cannibal was, the founder told Samantha Bee of the Daily Show:

I think that a lot of the pleasure of eating the Hufu product, is imagining you're eating human flesh. For that moment, you can join the fraternity of cannibals... If you really want to come as close as possible to the experience of cannibalism, Hufu is your best option.

Today is also World Hepatitis Day! Which reminds me, there's something I've been meaning to tell you ...

90 years ago today, Arab forces under T. E. Lawrence (of Arabia) captured Damascus. This surprising victory, and those that followed, inspired one of the greatest movies of all time. Speaking of the Middle East, I am reminded of a quote:

[Our people] have been led in Mesopotamia into a trap from which it will be hard to escape with dignity and honor. They have been tricked into it by a steady withholding of information. The Baghdad communiques are belated, insincere, incomplete. Things have been far worse than we have been told, our administration more bloody and inefficient than the public knows. It is a disgrace to our imperial record, and may soon be too inflamed for any ordinary cure. We are today not far from a disaster.

What? No, this is Sir Lawrence referring to the British involvement in Iraq in 1920. What did you think I was talking about?

E. B. White, author of such notable children's books as Charlotte's Web and Stuart Little, died on this day in 1985. He lived during a period of economic uncertainty and international fear and unrest, much like our own. Reading his words can be a little disconcerting:

• I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority.
• Necessity first mothered invention. Now invention has little ones of her own, and they look just like grandma.
• As long as there is one upright man, as long as there is one compassionate woman, the contagion may spread and the scene is not desolate. Hope is the one thing left to us in a bad time.
• I am a member of a party of one, and I live in an age of fear.
• We grow tyrannical fighting tyranny...
• We received a letter from the Writers' War Board the other day asking for a statement on "The Meaning of Democracy." It is presumably our duty to comply with such a request, and it is certainly our pleasure. Surely the Board knows what democracy is. It is the line that forms on the right. It is the don't in don't shove. It is the hole in the stuffed shirt through which the sawdust slowly trickles, the dent in the high hat. Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time. It is the feeling of privacy in the voting booths, the feeling of communion in the libraries, the feeling of vitality everywhere.Democracy is the letter to the editor. Democracy is the score at the beginning of the ninth. It is an idea which hasn't been disproved yet, a song the words of which have not gone bad. It's the mustard on the hot dog and the cream in the rationed coffee. Democracy is a request from a War Board, in the middle of the morning in the middle of a war, wanting to know what democracy is.

History of the Day: 9/30

Let's all celebrate 48 years of the Flinstones! It was animated Honeymooners for the kiddies, good wholesome fun from the get-go. Who can forget those bygone days of yore when our cartoon heroes would remind us that, "Winstons taste good, like a cigarette should"? Fortunately, Winston had the moral fortitude to pull their sponsorship in 1963 when Wilma got pregnant. I mean, seriously, how could they show that on TV? How irresponsible! In honor of Fred, Wilma, Barney and Betty; here's Weird Al's Bedrock Anthem.

Rudolf Diesel, inventor of the diesel engine, (presumably) died on this day in 1913. He was last seen on 9/29/1913, late in the evening on a boat in the ocean. Another ship found his body ten days later in such a progressed state of decomposition that they left him in the ocean and took his stuff for later identification. So, next time you're riding on a bus, you can think about that.

Elie Wiesel is an octogenarian today despite the best efforts of Hitler. He's still being persecuted. Just this past year, a 22 year old Holocaust denier named Eric Hunt attacked Wiesel and tried to kill him in San Francisco. Fortunately, Wiesel survived and continues to fight the good fight:

Indifference, to me, is the epitome of evil.
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
The opposite of beauty is not ugliness, it's indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference.
And the opposite of life is not death, but indifference between life and death.

Today is the feastday of St. Jerome, who translated the Bible into Latin. Remember Bob Dylan's song about St. Augustine? There's a blues singer named Dion who did a similar song about St. Jerome called The Thunderer, based on a poem by Phyllis McGinley. Here's an excerpt:

God’s angry man, His crotchety scholar
Was Saint Jerome, the great name-caller
Who cared not a dime for the laws of Libel
And in his spare time translated the Bible.

Quick to disparage all joys but learning
Jerome thought marriage better than burning;
But didn’t like woman’s painted cheeks;
Didn’t like Romans, didn’t like Greeks,
Hated Pagans for their Pagan ways,
Yet doted on Cicero all of his days.

A born reformer, cross and gifted,
He scolded mankind sterner than Swift did;
Worked to save the world from the heathen;
Fled to a cave for peace to breathe in,
Promptly wherewith for miles around
He filled the air with fury and sound.

In a mighty prose, for almighty ends,
He thrust at his foes, quarreled with his friends,
And served his Master though with complaint.
He wasn't a plaster sort of saint.

This article compares the two songs.

History of the Day: 9/29

The first dating service, called The Office of Addresses and Encounters, was started in 1650 by Henry Robinson in London. I'd LOVE to see what their method of finding compatibility was.

Miguel de Cervantes was born in 1547. He wrote Don Quixote who is one of my heroes. I love this poem which celebrates Quixote's horse, Rocinante:

When truth outwears, and withered fact grows cold,
When knowledge stales with plundered wisdom's gold,
Come gather in the garden of delight,
And journey with the mock Manchegan Knight.
Here, in a curtained pleasance of the mind
The sumptuous cenotaph to honor find
Raised by the god of laughter; he who hears
May scarce discern his merriment for tears.

Can truth or history such beauty keep
As vast reality of visions deep?
Shall deeds of Caesar or Napoleon ring
More true than Don Quijote's vapouring?
Hath winged Pegasus more nobly trod
Than Rocinante stumbling up to God?

Horatio Nelson, famed admiral of Britain, was born in 1758. In the battle of Trafalgar, he died a heroe's death. His usual last words are reported to be:

Thank God, I have done my duty.

In reality, they were:

Drink, drink, fan, fan, rub, rub.

No, I'm not kidding. He summarized the duty of an Englishman thusly:

Firstly you must always implicitly obey orders, without attempting to form any opinion of your own regarding their propriety. Secondly, you must consider every man your enemy who speaks ill of your king; and thirdly you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil.

Kind of sounds like what it means to be an American these days. Freedom Fries, anyone? Speaking of Frenchmen, Émile Zola died in 1902. He was an entirely different kind of hero, one who put his reputation on the line to expose a great evil in his home country. In his book J'accuse! (I Accuse), Zola pointed out the anti-semitism in the trial and conviction of Alfred Dreyfuss. He wrote:

The action I am taking is no more than a radical measure to hasten the explosion of truth and justice. I have but one passion: to enlighten those who have been kept in the dark, in the name of humanity which has suffered so much and is entitled to happiness. My fiery protest is simply the cry of my very soul. Let them dare, then, to bring me before a court of law and let the enquiry take place in broad daylight!

Today is Michaelmas, the feast of the Archangels Michael, Gabriel and Raphael. Here's a really cool Hymn to St. Michael from the Scottish Carmina Gadelica. According to an old legend, blackberries should not be picked after this date. This is because, so folklore goes, Satan was banished from Heaven on this day, fell into a blackberry bush and cursed the brambles as he fell into them.

St. Michael, far from being the fat cherub you see in modern paintings, was a sword-wielding toughie crushing a serpent under his feet. I read an article recently which has the coolest prayer written by a four-year old to St. Michael:

He had a small statue of St. Michael the Archangel beside his bed on his nightstand. He liked it so we bought it for him. It was a very manly Michael, with a great and terrible sword drawn, and the devil, stuck beneath one of Michael's feet, writhing helplessly. My son's prayer (still a family favorite):

Dear St. Michael, guard my room.
Don't let anything eat me or kill me.
Kill it with your sword. Kill it with your sword. Amen.

Thought for the day:

Things are set up as contraries that are not even in the same category. Listen to me: the opposite of radical is superficial; the opposite of liberal is stingy; the opposite of conservative is destructive. Thus I will describe myself as a radical conservative liberal; but certain of the tainted red fish will swear that there can be no such fish as that. Beware of those who use words to mean their opposites. At the same time have pity on them, for usually this trick is their only stock in trade. But do not pity them overly, it is your own death and your soul's death that they work by their deception.

- from The Flame is Green by R.A. Lafferty

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History of the Day: 9/27, 28

In 1822, Jean-François Champollion announced that he had deciphered the Rosetta stone. 186 years later, I've barely figured out basic txting.

In 1903, a train called the Old 97 crashed, inspiring a song aptly titled The Wreck of the Old 97. I think, along with poet laureate, there should be a presidentially appointed person who would, for instance, write The Ballad of Captain Sulley.  These days, when there's a wreck of any kind, it just inspires a Federal Investigation. 

Speaking of Federal Investigations, in 1964 the Warren Commission released its report, concluding that Lee Harvey Oswald, acting alone, assassinated President John F. Kennedy. Riiiiight. We all know it was Elvis' bat-baby, who travelled from the future to stop JFK's plans to colonize Mars, thus ending their idyllic way of life.

Speaking of weird, alien folks, the stage musical Hair opened at the Shaftesbury Theatre in London in 1968, where it played 1,998 performances until its closure was forced by the roof's collapsing in July 1973. When you get home, watch this, and be afraid.

Happy Birthday to Google! In mathematics, a google is 10 to the hundreth power, which is the current value of their stocks.

Another Happy Birthday to Samuel Adams, brewer of beer, and co-founder of the proto-terrorist group The Sons of Liberty (but they were American, so they're still heroes). In the words of Ben Franklin:

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

He actually didn't say that. What he really said was:

Behold the rain which descends from heaven upon our vineyards; there it
enters the roots of the vines, to be changed into wine; a constant proof that
God loves us, and loves to see us happy.

Finally, happy 30th birthday to Brad Arnold of the band 3 Doors Down. Here is their song Kryptonite. And, if you want to know all there is to know about kryptonite, please refer to this nifty kryptonite handbook.  I wrote a song about the history of Korea to the tune of Kryptonite.  I called it Chosun People ... you know ... 'cause "Chosun" is the Korean name for Korea ... haha ... hee hee ... maybe?

Wednesday is September, 28th. On this day, in 1066, William the Conqueror invaded England beginning the Norman Conquest.

Happy Birthday to several notable individuals. Confucius was born in 551 B.C. He said, of his life:

At fifteen my heart was set on learning;
at thirty I stood firm;
at forty I had no more doubts;
at fifty I knew the mandate of heaven;
at sixty my ear was obedient;
at seventy I could follow my heart's desire without transgressing the norm.

At thirty-six, I wish I could just remember to pay my bills.  But I did write this cool song about him (and Lao Tzu and Buddha).

Thomas Crapper was born in 1836. It is erroneously believed that we get the word "crap" from his name, or that he invented the toilet (although he did work on sewage systems). But, man, does it make for a good story!

Nick St. Nicholas of the band Steppenwolf was Born to Be Wild in 1943. And Frank Zappa welcomed his bundle of joy, whom he affectionately named Moon Unit Zappa, in 1967. You can see her singing her dad's song, Valley Girl, here.

Today is the feastday of Good King Wenceslaus I of Bohemia. He died in 935, but not after inspiring the famous Christmas carol. The tune of said carol is based on a Latin Spring carol:

Tempus adest floridum, surgent namque flores
Vernales in omnibus, imitantur mores
Hoc quod frigus laeserat, reparant calores
Cernimus hoc fieri, per multos labores.

Sunt prata plena floribus, iucunda aspectu
Ubi iuvat cernere, herbas cum delectu
Gramina et plantae hyeme quiescunt
Vernali in tempore virent et accrescunt.

Haec vobis pulchre monstrant Deum creatorem
Quem quoque nos credimus omnium factorem
O tempus ergo hilare, quo laetari libet
Renovato nam mundo, nos novari decet.

Terra ornatur floribus et multo decore
Nos honestis moribus et vero amore
Gaudeamus igitur tempore iucundo
Laudemusque Dominum pectoris ex fundo. *

Renown jazz trumpeter, composer and band leader Miles Davis died on this day in 1991. - Miles Davis, American jazz trumpeter. Here is his song Nardis (covered by the Bill Evans Trio). He was a funny guy, but with a ruthless wit. Once, at a reception in honor of Ray Charles at the White House (during the Reagan administration), he was asked what he had done to be invited. He replied:

I've changed music four or five times. What have you done of any importance other than be white?

Which also reminds me that today is Ask a Stupid Question Day.

Finally, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Tonight we're gonna party like it's 5767 ...

And why? Because it's Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. This is slightly different than other new year celebrations because, in this one, God judges the year to come, not the year that has already been. How's that for pressure? For more on Rosh Hashanah, read this. Or you can listen to Gavin Friday's cover of Leonard Cohen's song Who by Fire which is, itself, a lyricization of the Unetanah tokef, a Rosh Hashanah prayer.

* Translation of Tempus Adest Floridum

The time of blooming is come, for the flowers are growing.
Spring customs imitate them in all things
That which the cold has wounded, the warmth restores
We see this happen through many hardships.
There are meadows full of flowers, with a joyful appearance
Where with pleasure one delights to perceive greenery
Grasses and plants subdued by winter
Flourish and grow in springtime.
These beauties show you God the Creator
Whom we also believe to be the maker of all things.
Accordingly, O time of merriment, in which one may rejoice
Since the world is renewed, it is fitting that we ourselves be renewed.
The earth is decorated with flowers, and with much beauty
Therefore, let us ourselves rejoice in honest customs and true love in a happy time
And let us praise the Lord from the bottom of our heart.

History of the Day: 9/26

Today is the birthday of St. Francis of Assisi, born in 1181. He walked barefoot, talked to crucifixes, and preached to birds. And wrote poems and songs. Here is Sarah McLachlan singing the Prayer of St. Francis.

Another friend of birds and nature who put less dedicated Christians to shame by his life was Johnny Appleseed, born on this day in 1774. He would wander the American frontier, also barefoot, planting apple tree nurseries which would be sold (by barter) to families that would then sell the apples to cider mills. He received his seeds for free (from the mills, which wanted more apples), wore the worst of the clothes he received in barter (giving away the rest to the needy) and wouldn't demand payment if payment couldn't be made.

Towards the end of his career, he was present when an itinerant missionary was exhorting to an open-air congregation in Mansfield, Ohio. The sermon was long and quite severe on the topic of extravagance, because the pioneers were starting to buy such indulgences as calico and store-bought tea. "Where now is there a man who, like the primitive Christians, is traveling to heaven bare-footed and clad in coarse raiment?" the preacher repeatedly asked, until Johnny Appleseed, his endurance worn out, walked up to the preacher, put his bare foot on the stump which had served as a lectern, and said, "Here's your primitive Christian!" The flummoxed preacher dismissed the congregation.

The poet T. S. Eliot was born in 1888 in the U.S., but emigrated to the U.K. He and C.S. Lewis were literary sparring partners who, for some odd reason, thought their beginning initials were better than their first and middle names. Perhaps they were both enamored of another contemporary, J.R.R. Tolkein. Eliot was known for using quotes from other authors, and of this practice said:

Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal; bad poets deface what they take, and good poets make it into something better, or at least something different.

Here are some excerpts from some of his poems.:

April is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
Winter kept us warm, covering
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding
A little life with dried tubers.
- The Waste Land

This is the way the world ends,
Not with a bang, but with a whisper.
- Hollow Men

A people without history
Is not redeemed from time, for history is a pattern
Of timeless moments....
All shall be well and
All manner of things shall be well
When the tongues of flames are in-folded
Into the crowned knot of fire
And the fire and the rose are one.
- The Four Quartets

Martin Heidegger, the German philosopher, was born one year later. He's often hard to understand, speaking of things like Dasein, "...the being for whom being is a question." Riiiiight. Here's some other jewels to ponder.

A giving which gives only its gift, but in the giving holds itself back and withdraws, such a giving we call sending.

If I take death into my life, acknowledge it, and face it squarely, I will free myself from the anxiety of death and the pettiness of life - and only then will I be free to become myself.

Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.

Eliot and Heidegger both seem a little depressed. Blue, even. George Gershwin, born on this day in 1898, was a composer of many, much more happy songs, although he did compose a Rhapsody in Blue, known for having the most complicated clarinet solo in all of orchestral history.

Daniel Boone died 188 years ago today. Known as a prodigious geographer with an infallible, internal GPS, he once said,

I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several weeks.

Lesser known for his animosity towards war, he also said,

May the same Almighty Goodness banish the accursed monster, war, from all lands, with her hated associates, rapine and insatiable ambition!

Levi Strauss, composer of the Blue Jean Danube, died on this day in 1902. Oh ... wait ... I got that mixed up. I mean, creator of blue jeans. I suppose I could wear denim socks to commemorate his life?

Bessie Smith, singer of the blues, died today in 1934. I used to work at this company that brokered trains. One of the ones we sold was Bessie Smith's "Jim Crow Car." Not content to be relegated to the abysmal, segregated cars, Smith purchased her own car for traveling on the rails. Here's one of her songs, When It Rains, which is particularly appropriate for today.

Today is Bureflux, the the greyest of the Whollydays in Discordianism. On this day, Bureaucracy is at its peak. It is an excellent time to perform the Paper Clip Sacrifice.

And, finally, today is the European Day of Languages. Here's one you probably haven't heard of, Anglish. It's what would have been if William the Conqueror had never introduced Romance languages to England. No Greek, Latin, French, etc. For instance, here is Hamlet's To Be or Not To Be in Anglish:

To be, or not to be: that is the ask-thing:
is't higher-thinking in the brain to bear
the slings and arrows of outrageous dooming
or to take weapons 'gainst a sea of bothers
and by againstwork end them?...

Cool, huh? And here is an excerpt from a treatise in Anglish called "Uncleftish Beholding," on atomic theory:

The firststuffs have their being as motes called unclefts. These are mighty small: one seedweight of waterstuff holds a tale of them like unto two followed by twenty-two naughts. Most unclefts link together to make what are called bulkbits. Thus, the waterstuff bulkbit bestands of two waterstuff unclefts, the sourstuff bulkbit of two sourstuff unclefts, and so on. (Some kinds, such as sunstuff, keep alone; others, such as iron, cling together in chills when in the fast standing; and there are yet more yokeways.) When unlike unclefts link in a bulkbit, they make bindings. Thus, water is a binding of two waterstuff unclefts with one sourstuff uncleft, while a bulkbit of one of the forestuffs making up flesh may have a thousand or more unclefts of these two firststuffs together with coalstuff and chokestuff.

...

History of the Day: 9/25

On this day in 1690, the first newspaper to appear in print in the U.S. was published for the first and only time in Boston, MA. It might have been the unwieldy name, Publick Occurrences Both Foreign and Domestick, but was probably that it was printed without the permission of the gub'mint. Later, the rebellious colonies would enshrine the ideal of a free press in their Constitution. But, as G.K. Chesterton pointed out in his essay Tyranny of Bad Journalism:

The point about the Press is that it is not what it is called. It is not the "popular Press." It is not the public Press. It is not an organ of public opinion. It is a conspiracy of a very few millionaires, all sufficiently similar in type to agree on the limits of what this great nation (to which we belong) may know about itself and its friends and enemies. The ring is not quite complete; there are old-fashioned and honest papers: but it is sufficiently near to completion to produce on the ordinary purchaser of news the practical effects of a corner and a monopoly. He receives all his political information and all his political marching orders from what is by this time a sort of half-conscious secret society, with very few members, but a great deal of money.

Happy birthday to the remote control! Leonardo Torres Quevedo demonstrated his new invention, called the Telekino, before the king and a large crowd in Portugal, guiding a boat from the shore. Presumably, he did this slouched down on a sofa with his hand under his belt.

U2 is 32. Accompanied by angelic choirs and guitar riffs from Mr. Edge, they formed on this day. In some Episcopal churches, you can attend a U2charist (worship service using U2 songs instead of hymns). No, I'm not kidding. This could be because U2 writes songs with titles like Yahweh. Or it could be because Bono thinks he is the Messiah.

Baba Wawa is 79.

Shell Silverstein was born on this day in 1930. Most know him for his beloved children's poems and books, like The Giving Tree and Where the Sidewalk Ends. I have a nasty little book of ABCs penned by him. But he was also a prolific author of many rated R poems (PG-13 at least). I won't post any of the REALLY bad ones, but you probably know of two. Remember the song Cover of the Rolling Stone by Dr. Hook? Shel wrote those lyrics. And Boy Named Sue by Johnny Cash? That's him, too.

Happy birthday to two heroes of geeks the world over, Mark Hamill/Luke Skywalker (1951) and Christopher Reeve/Superman (1952).

Finally, John Bonham of Led Zeppelin died on this day in 1980. Here's hoping he found the Stairway to Heaven. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

History of the Day: 9/24

Mercifully, there's not much history today. Interestingly, today is the feast of Our Lady of Mercy (Our Lady of Ransom). In an apparition, Mary gave two bags of gold to ransom Christians from Muslim slavery. People who joined the order established to achieve this goal were called Mercedarians. This is important because I like thinking of names for imaginary bands. One of my favorites is "The Mercynaries." Get it? Maybe? A little?

OK, forget it.

In other religious history, today is the day Muhammad completed his hegira (pilgrimage) from Mecca to Medina in 622. There is a meteorite located in the Kaaba at Mecca. In 1947, President Harry Truman was worried about other things falling from the sky in Roswell, New Mexico and, on this day, (allegedly) established Majestic 12 to investigate. This is believed to be the high, holy day of Dennis Kucinich.

Finally, and most importantly, today is the commemoration of Sir Arthur Guinness, brewer of the beer that is so thick, it's a meal in itself. And; along with meat, potatoes and guilt; forms one of the four food groups of the Irish diet. As advertisements for Guinness once claimed, Is fearr de thú Guinness. (Guinness is good for you.)

History of the Day: 9/23

In 1889, the first playing cards were produced and marketed by the company that would later be known as Nintendo. Nintendo -- rotting the brains of children for over a century.

In 1952, Nixon delivered his famous "Checkers" speech. In a fantastic display of red herring humor, he answered claims that he had misappropriated money, and made the American people fall in love with him. Here's the speech. It interesting to listen to given the current political climate, especially knowing what later happened to El Presidente Nixon. If you don't have time to listen to the entire speech, skip ahead to 10 minutes, 13 seconds. It's brilliant.

Lots of birthdays today. Rirst, rappy rirthday to the Retsons! Their first episode aired on this day in 1962.

Euripides, the Greek playwright, was born on this day in 480 BC. Among his many amazing plays was one which showed the horrors of war (especially for the surviving mothers, daughters and wives of the slain) called The Trojan Women. It's well worth a read. He also inspired my favorite geek joke of all time:

Overheard in ancient Greece:
Tailor: Euripides?
Customer: Eumenides.

Octavian, later known as Augustus Caesar, was born on 63 BC. The Roman Senate proclaimed him a god (who knew the legislature had THAT much power?), including the title "son of god." And, as has always been the case in history, when Church and State get in bed together, they have really ugly children.

"Typhoid" Mary Mallon was born in 1869. She was a healthy carrier of the disease and infected close to fifty people in her job as a cook. She refused to accept that she was connected with the deaths and, eventually, was forcibly put in quarantine, where she died.

Now, some musical birthdays. John Coltrane, jazz saxaphonist supreme, was born in 1926. Even if you hate his music, you need to pretend like you like it to be groovy, like me! Try out Body and Soul.

Ray Charles was born in 1930. His fusion of country music storytelling, gospel music itself, and pop revolutionized all music ... at least that's What I Say.

The Boss was born 49 years ago today. What? No, not Ms. Traywick ... Bruce Springsteen! Everyone talks about Born to Run or Born in the USA, but his best album is Nebraska. Just him, his guitar, his harmonica and a four-track recorder in his basement. Sublime. I couldn't find my favorite song of his, Jesus Was an Only Son, so here's my second favorite, Streets of Philadephia.

Today is the 38th birthday of Ani DiFranco. She's one of those singers whose lyrics kind of makes me ashamed to be a man. But this one's not so bad: When You Were Mine

Some important people died today as well. Snorri Sturluson, the Icelandic historian, poet and lawspeaker for the Althing. (An Althing is like a combination parliament and court. The lawspeaker was the memory of the community. I guess my trailer would be the Swampthing?)

His poetry is rich in imagery. One of my favorites is about Odin and how he found the runes.

Wounded I hung on a wind-swept gallows
For nine long nights,
Pierced by a spear, pledged to Odin,
Offered, myself to myself
The wisest know not from whence spring
The roots of that ancient rood.

They gave me no bread,
They gave me no mead,
I looked down;
with a loud cry
I took up runes;
from that tree I fell.

Sigmund Freud died on this day in 1939. He discovered many important things, like all sons are in love with their mothers and want to kill their fathers, all women wish they were men, and ... well ... OK, he was kind of useless. But at least he recognized there are some questions that may never be answered. For instance, he once wrote to Marie Bonaparte, "Was will das Weib?" Or,

The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is "What does a woman want?"

One might think that was answered by Mel Gibson or Betty Friedan, but I think Etta Baker (who died on this day in 2006 at the age of 93) would be a much better person to ask. She was every oppressed subgroup rolled into one; part American Indian, part African-American (often looked down on by both groups), all woman and mother of nine.

She learned to play guitar on her own in the mountains of NC. And, being an African-American-Indian, female, mother of nine; she HAD to play the blues. She gained worldwide fame for her unique style and incredible ability. Here are a couple of her songs, Piece Behind the Bridge and One Dime Blues.

Finally, keeping with the theme of the ladies, today is the feastday of Saint Adomnan of Iona. He, like Euripides, recognized the plight of women and children who were ever becoming the spoils of the constant wars in Ireland and Scotland. So he enacted the Cain Adomnan, a law which, among other things, said:

... whoever slays a woman ... his right hand and his left foot shall be cut off before death, and then he shall die ...

History of the Day: 9/22

On this day in 1236 the Lithuanians and Semigallians defeated the Livonian Brothers of the Sword in Battle of Šiauliai. I don't know who they are or why that's important, but it sure is fun to say!

In 1692 the last people executed for witchcraft in the United States were hanged. I'm not sure, but I think it looked something like this. Less than 100 years later, Nathan Hale was hanged for spying during the Revolutionary War. There's a little known but wonderful song about it called Hale in the Bush.

Fiddler on the Roof is 48. Here's a medley of songs from the musical.

Nick Cave was born on this day in 1957. I highly recommend his music. How many other artists do you know that have an entire album dedicated to covers of murder ballads? Here's a somewhat atypical love song of his, Into My Arms.

Andrea Bocelli, the blind bard of Italy, was born a year later. Here he is with Sarah Brightman singing Time to Say Goodbye.

Japanese Zen Buddhist, Dogen, died on this day in 1253. He is known for saying things like:

To study the Way is to study the self.
To study the self is to forget the self.
To forget the self is to be enlightened by all things of the universe.
To be enlightened by all things of the universe
is to cast off the body and mind of the self as well as those of others.
Even the traces of enlightenment are wiped out,
and life with traceless enlightenment goes on forever and ever.

I assume he reached Nirvana, but I don't know what he said to Kurt Cobain. Speaking of musicians, Irving Berlin also died on this day in 1989. He composed too many songs to pick from, so I'll just let you sing God Bless America to yourself.

Today is also Hobbit Day, being the ficticious birthday of Bilbo and Frodo Baggins. So ... I guess ... ummm ... don't shave your feet?  Or you could join with Leonard Nimoy and the Stepford Singers in The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins.

Finally, today is International Car Free Day. I will be walking to work, so I'll see you tomorrow.

History of the Day: 9/20, 21

This has been an eventful weekend in history! Saturday was the 21st.

On this day in 1633, Galileo Galilei was tried before the Inquisition for teaching that the Earth orbits the Sun. This always reminds me of the Simpson's episode where Lisa discovers the skeleton of an angel. During the court case, the judge imposes a restraining order to keep Science and Religion 500 yards apart at all times. It also reminds me of the Indigo Girls song Galileo.

Happy Birthday to gasoline-powered cars which first debuted in Springfield, Ma in 1891. Isn't that where the Simpsons is set? Maybe, now that gas is $85 a gallon, we'll have a funeral for gasoline-powered cars in a couple of years.

For the ladies, today is the day that Billie Jean King beat Bobby Riggs in the 1973 battle-of-the-sexes tennis match, forever proving that men are from Mars and women are from Wimbledon. And that they can do anything better than men. Perhaps this victory had something to do with Sandra Day O'Connor being appointed the first female justice of the Supreme Court 8 years and one day later.

Today is the birthday of Upton Sinclair, muckracker and author of The Jungle (along with several gajillion other essays and books). He tried to inform his readers about the plight of workers in meat processing plants, but they were only interested in the fact that their sausages were shipped from Germany, bleached and repackaged and sold as fresh. Or, as Sinclair put it,

I aimed at the public's heart, and by accident I hit it in the stomach.

Others have tried to carry on his work, some with animation. If you don't have a weak stomach, check out The Meatrix.

Happy birthday to twins Gunnar and Matthew Nelson, sons of Ricky Nelson and members of glam band Nelson. Cute. If you don't have a weak stomach, check out After the Rain.

Finally, the unfortunately named Chidiock Tichborne was executed for conspiracy to kill Queen Elizabeth in 1586. He and his fellow conspirators were disembowelled while still alive on specially erected gallows in as a warning to other would-be conspirators. However, when the Queen received reports that these gruesome executions were arousing sympathy for the conspirators, she gave orders that the remaining seven conspirators were to be allowed to hang until 'quite dead' before being disembowelled. Ain't she sweet?

Tch, tch, Tichborne was also known as a poet. In an effort to console his soon-to-be grieving widow, he composed the following poem:

My prime of youth is but a frost of cares,
My feast of joy is but a dish of pain,
My crop of corn is but a field of tares,
And all my good is but vain hope of gain;
The day is past, and yet I saw no sun,
And now I live, and now my life is done.

My tale was heard and yet it was not told,
My fruit is fallen, and yet my leaves are green,
My youth is spent and yet I am not old,
I saw the world and yet I was not seen;
My thread is cut and yet it is not spun,
And now I live, and now my life is done.

I sought my death and found it in my womb,
I looked for life and saw it was a shade,
I trod the earth and knew it was my tomb,
And now I die, and now I was but made;
My glass is full, and now my glass is run,
And now I live, and now my life is done.

Sunday was September the 21st.

Happy Benedict Arnold Day! On this day, General Arnold gave the British the plans to West Point. Sadly, he had just meant to share his egg recipe, but got confused in the exchange.

In 1827, the angel Moroni visited Joseph Smith and gave him the golden plates which Smith would later become the Book of Mormon. It's a good thing that happened then instead of 180 years later, or else Smith might have seen one of those "We Buy Gold" commercials and we would have been robbed of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

In other literary history, J.R.R. Tolkein's Hobbit was published in 1937. If you want to watch something really, really scary, here's Leonard Nimoy singing Bilbo Baggins. It answers the question, "What do you get when you cross Star Trek, The Hobbit and Stepford Wives?"

Happy 134th birthday to Gustav Holst, composer of The Planets. And to Chuck Jones, creator of Looney Toons, animator of How the Grinch Stole Christmas and The Phantom Tollboth, and both creator AND animator of The Dot and the Line: a Romance in Lower Mathematics. And another happy birthday to Leonard Cohen, who is 74 today. He is one of the most covered singer/songwriters of all time. I couldn't find him singing, but I did find the best cover of his Hallelujah (which you might remember from the first Shrek movie). This one is by Jeff Buckley.

Virgil, the greatest of the Roman poets, died on this day in 19 BC. Here is a particularly poignant excerpt from one of his many poems:

Facilis descensus Averni:
noctes atque dies patet atri ianua Ditis;
sed revocare gradium superasque evadere ad auras.
hoc opus, hic labor est.

It is easy to go down into Hell;
Night and day, the gates of dark Death stand wide;
But to climb back again, to retrace one's steps to the upper air -
There's the rub, the task.

Finally, today is the day Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce died in 1904 and, coincidentally, International Peace Day. Also known as Hinmuuttu-yalatlat (Thunder Rolling Down the Mountain), Joseph tried to keep the peace with the U.S. government after yet another treaty was broken. Some of the young men killed four white men in an attempt to start a war. Joseph, knowing what was coming, began to retreat to the safety of Canada. But the U.S. military pursued him all the way there. Joseph brilliantly outmaneuvered the U.S. troops until, 40 miles from his goal, he had to surrender. He said:

Tell General Howard I know his heart. What he told me before, I have it in my heart. I am tired of fighting. Our chiefs are killed; Looking Glass is dead, Too-hul-hul-sote is dead. The old men are all dead. It is the young men who say yes or no. He who led on the young men is dead. It is cold, and we have no blankets; the little children are freezing to death. My people, some of them, have run away to the hills, and have no blankets, no food. No one knows where they are—perhaps freezing to death. I want to have time to look for my children, and see how many of them I can find. Maybe I shall find them among the dead. Hear me, my chiefs! I am tired; my heart is sick and sad. From where the sun now stands, I will fight no more forever.

And he didn't. For thirty years more, he plead for his people and spoke against the injustice of U.S. policy towards them. Finally, in 1904, he died, the doctor said, "...of a broken heart." Fred Small wrote a song about him called The Heart of the Appaloosa.

It does not require many words to speak the truth.
- Chief Joseph

History of the Day: 9/19

Ahoy, me Beauties! Avast and arrrrrr and all that. Today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day! And remember, they make clear rum. Verrrrrry hard to detect. I'm just sayin', is all.

Lots of important musicians to remember today. On this day in 1981, Simon and Garfunkel reunited for a free concert in Central Park. And it was sooooo good! Why is this important? Because they're my favorite, secular group. Why are they my favorite, secular group? Because I'm a geek.

Paul Simon is brilliant in his own right, but the two of them together are sublime. Who else could take composition by the medieval composer Orlando di Lassi and make it even more awesome (Benedictus)? Probably, their most well known song is Sound of Silence. Here's a couple of other good ones:

• Only Living Boy in New York:
• April

He's not a singer, but Adam West was born in 1928. You know ... Batman? Bam, biff, pock, zam? Holy campy cheesfest? Have you ever seen the Batman movie, the original one? You need to, if you haven't.

Back to music, Cass Elliot, of the Mamas and the Papas, was born in 1941. She wasn't always a singer, you know. She was at a party the rest of the members of the band were attending and was ... how shall I say ... in an expanded state of mind. Then, a piece of bronze pipe fell and hit her in the head. After waking up from the concussion, she found herself in an expanded state of voice. When the group heard her, they signed her up! She died nine years later. Their two most famous songs are Monday, Monday (also known as "The Anthem for Public School") California Dreamin'.

My favorite singer of all time is Rich Mullins. He died on this day in 1997, and it was a sad day. There are few like him in the CCM scene. Most just ape popular secular music or churn out vapid, bland tapioca. But there was real heart and soul and ... reality, in Rich's songs. And he lived what he sang. For instance, when he heard that the average income of an American is $25,000; he told the elders of his church to manage his funds. They paid him a $25,000 stipend, and the rest went to charities. He didn't even know how much he made. If you want to be inspired, find a video called Homeless Man: The Life of Rich Mullins.

I wish I could have found some of his best songs, like Calling Out Your Name or Hard to Get, but these are good, too.

• We Are Not As Strong As We Think We Are
• Hold Me Jesus

And, finally, Happy Birthday to the Emoticon! :-) It has a longer history than you'd expect. The National Telegraphic Review and Operators Guide in April 1857 documented the use of the number 73 in Morse code to express "love and kisses" (later reduced to the more formal "best regards"):

--... ...--

Typographical emoticons were published in 1881 by the U.S. satirical magazine Puck.

Later, in 1912 Ambrose Bierce (who wrote the hilarious Devil's Dictionary) proposed...

... an improvement in punctuation - the snigger point, or note of cachinnation: it is written thus \___/! and presents a smiling mouth. It is to be appended, with the full stop, to every jocular or ironical sentence.

But the official birthday is today, based on this proto-e-mail sent in 1982:

19-Sep-82 11:44 Scott E Fahlman :)
From: Scott E Fahlman

I propose that the following character sequence for joke markers:

:-)

Read it sideways. Actually, it is probably more economical to mark
things that are NOT jokes - given current trends. For this, use

:-(

History of the Day: 9/18

Was your Constitution Day party as ROCKIN' as mine? Whew! I thought I might have to call in a sub today.

The U.S. Air Force is 61. The USAF has come a long way from it's humble roots, and my family has been there for most of it. My maternal grandfather was a pilot in the Army Air Corps, my dad was a pilot in the USAF in the 70s, and my younger sister was an MP in S. Korea. And, of course, one of my heroes, Hal Jordan (the Green Lantern), was once a pilot as well. Today, the up-and-comers in the USAF are the guys who remotely pilot robot drones in contested areas, affectionately called "The Chair Force" (seriously).

And happy 113th birthday to the oldest man currently living, Tomoji Tanabe of Japan. He was born in 1895 and, incidentally, endorses John McCain for president. He said, "Oh, we used to play together as children. He's a good man." (Kidding!)

Jimi Hendrix died on this day in 1970. He's considered one of the greatest guitar players of all time, as well as one of the most fantastic mumblers. Here, he takes the National Anthem and makes it cool. Speaking of the National Anthem, I forgot to tell you a joke yesterday. If you think the final line of the Star Spangeled Banner is "Gentlemen, start your engines," you might be a redneck.

Here, he takes on Bob Dylan's folk number, All Along the Watchtower, and ... well ... he makes it cool, too. But in this number, some dude I don't know takes Henrix' Mary and makes it comprehensible. 'Cause when Jimi sings it, it sounds like the Enuma Elis:

e-nu-ma e-liš la na-bu-ú šá-ma-mu
šap-liš am-ma-tum šu-ma la zak-rat
ZU.AB-ma reš-tu-ú za-ru-šu-un
mu-um-mu ti-amat mu-al-li-da-at gim-ri-šú-un
A.MEŠ-šú-nu iš-te-niš i-ḫi-qu-ú-šú-un
gi-pa-ra la ki-is-su-ru su-sa-a la she-'u-ú
e-nu-ma DINGIR.DINGIR la šu-pu-u ma-na-ma

Finally, today is the Feastday of a saint that is probably working overtime these days, Joseph of Cupertino, patron of bad students. He was exceedingly absent-minded, becoming distracted in school and staring off into the great beyond. This happened so often, he earned the nickname "The Gaper." Later in life, after joining a monastery, he would become so enraptured during Mass or upon praying that he would fly into the air.

His life inspired a short-lived, comic book, The Flying Friar, in which he is a modern-day, Christian, Superman of sorts whose arch enemy is (are you ready?) "Lux Luthor," a descendant of Martin Luther of Reformation fame. I can't tell you how much I love that. Almost as much as this prayer, based on the legend that the good saint prayed for the answers to a test he hadn't studied for because he had been thinking about God:

O Great St. Joseph of Cupertino
who while on earth did obtain from God
the grace to be asked at your examination
only the questions you knew,
obtain for me a like favour
in the examinations for which I am now preparing.
In return I promise to make you known and cause you to be invoked.

History of the Day: 9/17

I, the Blogger, in order to form a more perfect post, establish left justification, ensure Times New Roman font, provide for .... ummmm .... sorry, ran out of creative juice.

Today is, of course, Constitution Day!  In 1787, I'm told, our Founding Fathers did agree to write a list of principles for keepin' people free.  The USA was just starting out, a whole brand new country.  And so our people spelled it out, the things that we should be.  Everybody, sing along!  Seriously, they did create a  government which was rather wise. I mean, sure, it only counted each slave as 2/3 of a person and even protected the institution of slavery itself. But it understood and took into account that people can't really be trusted, and the only way to make sure that they don't abuse their power is to balance their power against other people. In comic book terms, it means make sure Batman always has a kryptonite bullet.

By the way, did you know there's a typo in the Constitution?

27 years later, Francis Scott Key finished a poem which would eventually become our national anthem. Sadly, I don't like it very much, so I wrote a new one, although it hasn't caught on yet.

Today is the Feastday of Hildegard of Bingen, a proto-feminist of sorts in that she was a very vocal and powerful woman in a time when women were largely powerless and voiceless. Perhaps I should write her in on the ticket in November. In addition to challenging contemporary ideas of the role of women, she also was a mystic, an aritst, a prolific author and a composer of religious songs. Here is one of her hymns, Columba aspexit (lyrics). Or, you can get techno versions of a whole album of her songs by the Swiss band, Garmana.

Staying with the political thread, did you know that America has an Emperor? It's true! In 1859, Joshua A. Norton of California declared himself Emperor Norton I of the United States. He's also one of the patron saints of the Discordians. If you have a moment, read the story of him and his two dogs, Bummer and Lazarus.

This day in 1862 was the bloodiest day in American history. At the battle of Antietam, Gen. McClellan halted the northward drive of Gen. Lee's army. By day's end; 23,000 had perished.

105 years later, Jim Morrison fought his own battle against censorship. The Doors were slated to perform their hit single, Light My Fire, on the Ed Sullivan show. They were asked to change the words "girl, we couldn't get much higher " because they seemed to be (and probably were) promoting drug use. During his performance, Morrison made a point of wending his way right in front of the camera to sing, especially loud, the offending line. What's more offending to me is the fifteen hours of organ solo, but they don't make censors for that.  Here's the scene from the Doors movie, and the band members today talking about the song and that moment. 

One of the greatest television series ever, M*A*S*H, premiered on CBS five years later. I think they'd gotten over the drug references by that point.

Happy Birthday to Hank Williams, one of the progenitors of country music. He was born in 1923 and died thirty years later, much too soon. Sadly, his songs were mostly autobiographical, and that kind of living takes its toll on a man. He sang the song I am always tempted to sing when I catch a student cheating on a test.

Another, less well known, musician was born in 1974. Mirah ... well ... she's just cool. Here she is singing Lonestar and Cold, Cold Water.

History of the Day: 9/16

Today is the 392 birthday of Public Schooling! You can bring cupcakes to celebrate, but make sure they're store bought and you check in at the office.

In 1701 the "Old Pretender," James Francis Edward Stuart, claimed the thrones of England and Scotland. And as he was not content to settle for one throne, he also demanded two surnumbers, styling himself James II and VIII. This is chiefly important because it led to the great corpus of Scottish music (much of which deals with the Jacobite Rebellions) and one verse of God Save the Queen/King:

Lord, grant that Marshal Wade,
May by thy mighty aid,
Victory bring.
May he sedition hush and like a torrent rush,
Rebellious Scots to crush,
God save the King.

In 1835, the HMS Beagle, with Darwin onboard, reached the Galapagos Islands. In his recollections of the journey, Darwin recalls that:

The captain said he had one question to ask me, which he should be very much obliged if I would answer with all truth. I trembled to think how deeply scientific it would be: it was, "Whether the ladies of Buenos Ayres were not the handsomest in the world." I replied, like a renegade, "Charmingly so." He added, "I have one other question: Do ladies in any other part of the world wear such large combs?" I solemnly assured him that they did not. They were absolutely delighted. The captain exclaimed, "Look there! a man who has seen half the world says it is the case; we always thought so, but now we know it." My excellent judgment in combs and beauty procured me a most hospitable reception; the captain forced me to take his bed, and he would sleep on his recado.

In one of the earliest incidents of terrorism in the US (you know, if you don't include the Sons of Liberty ... and smallpox blankets) a bomb in a horse wagon was set off in fron of the J.P. Morgan building on Wall Street in 1920. 38 were killed and 400 injured in the attack which was believed to have been perpetrated by Italian anarchists in response to the conviction of Sacco and Vanzetti. This further fueled the Palmer Raids being carried out by the Attorney General under Woodrow Wilson who had earlier warned about:

Hyphenated Americans who have poured the poison of disloyalty into the very arteries of our national life. Such creatures of passion, disloyalty and anarchy must be crushed out.

Let's see ... terrorist act in a NY financial district which leads to investigation by the Feds sometimes skirting aspects of the 4th Amendment ... it reminds me of something ... eh, it'll come to me.

Happy 94th birthday to the Grandfather of "Punk'd," "Candid Camera's" Alan Funt.

And happy 81st birthday to Peter Falk, better known as Columbo! Remember when he would fumble around his pockets while looking for a pen or paper or cigar? That's me looking for a dry erase marker while teaching.

Happy 80th birthday to Lady Gwen Thompson, a self-proclaimed "hereditary witch" who published the Wiccan Rede. Although there is an extended version, in its most basic form it says:

An it harm none, do what you will.

Which is something like St. Augustine's:

Love, and do what you will.

Farinelli, the most famous of the castrato, died on this day in 1782. In case you are wondering, a castrato is every bit as horrific as it sounds. Back in the glory days of Italian opera, women weren't allowed to perform. But there were so many fantastic, soprano arias. What is a music-loving maestro to do? Why, castrate some pre-pubescent boys to sing female roles, of course! Which just goes to show that there's no limit of idiocy a man can accomplish when he sets his mind to it.

Now, step into the way-back machine and travel to the days of the mandatory sociology class you had to take for your education degree. Remember Jean Piaget and Cognitive Development? Yeah ... you're getting that sick feeling too, right? Well, he died 28 years ago today. I'm not saying to celebrate, but I'm not saying not to!

Finally, today is Mexican Independence Day! I mean, the real one, not Cinco de Mayo. That's the day when Mexico kicked out the last of the European powers. Of course, that's the day we would count. But Mexicans count the day that Fr. Hidalgo stood on his porch and shouted:

Long live Our Lady of Guadalupe, death to bad government, and death to the Spaniards!

Our Lady of Guadalupe was particularly important to Mexican Catholics because, instead of appearing to a Spaniard and speaking Spanish, she appeared to a native/Aztec farmer and spoke Nahuatl. You can see how she would be a potent symbol for them. To this day, on the night of September 15, the President of Mexico re-enacts the event by ringing the bells of the National Palace in Mexico City.

History of the Day: 9/15

Dearly Beloved,

We are gathered here to remember three deaths ... nay! Three lives, and the livers who lived them. I mean, not "livers" livers, not like an organ, you know, but as in "person who lived." Awwww, forget it!

Today is the feastday of Our Lady of Sorrows. I mention it A) because there are so many deaths today and B) because the iconography for the day is really interesting. It can range from Mary, with her heart pierced by seven swords; to Mary surrounded by images of the seven sorrows; to just a heart and seven swords. Also, in his epic poem Ballad of the White Horse, Chesterton includes this awesome line:

Over the iron forest
He saw Our Lady stand,
Her eyes were sad withouten art,
And seven swords were in her heart--
But one was in her hand.

In 1885, P.T. Barnum's elephant, Jumbo, died. Why is this important? Because it was this elephant who brought the word "jumbo" into our lexicon and collective subconscious, especially with the movie Dumbo. If you recall, the mother was named Jumbo, and Dumbo's original name was Jumbo Jr. Remember the scene where she's in prison and rocks him with her trunk? Still makes me cry! Now, there was a sorrowful mother.

Anyway, Jumbo's name either came from the Swahili jambo (which means "hello") or jumbe (which means "chief") and is how we got our modern-day meaning, "large."

100 years later, Cootie Williams died? "Who is Cootie Williams?" you ask. Well, aside from having a cool name, he was a jazz trumpeter of considerable skill. Listen for yourself.

Finally, a mere four years ago, the godfather of punk, Johnny Ramone (not his real name) of the Ramones, died. And, for those of you who think that all rock-n-rollers are liberals, Johnny Ramone was a Republican! Who knew the GOP was punk? Probably their most famous song is the anthem of all teachers at the end of a long day.

Requiem in Punk.