History of the Day: 11/24

Happy Evolution Day! On this day in 1859, Charles Darwin published On the Origin of the Species. Ever since then there have been those who mocked evolution, those who mocked those who mocked evolution, and, as always, those who mocked everyone. In other evolution history, Austrolopithecus afarensis, named Lucy after the Beatle's song, was found on this day in 1974. I suppose she had kaleidoscope eyes ... and was tripping.

On this day in 1963, Jack Ruby shot Lee Harvey Oswald on live television. Eat your heart out, Jerry Springer! In other conspiracy news, Joseph Mobutu seized power in the Congo and became president in a coup sponsored by the CIA (showing their characteristic knack for choosing the worst person possible to back). The first thing he did was rename himself Mobutu Sese Seko Nkuku Ngbendu Wa Za Banga or "The all-powerful warrior who, because of his endurance and inflexible will to win, goes from conquest to conquest, leaving fire in his wake." The next thing he did was rename the country Zaire. Then, he embezzled public funds, conducted public hangings, and generally acted like a tyrant for over thirty years until being overthrown by rebels in 1997. When questioned about his rampant evil, he replied:

When a chief takes a decision, he decides - period.

In other words:

I'm the decider.

Happy birthday to Baruch Spinoza, born on this day in 1632. His name is the Hebrew variant of Barack, which means "blessed." Baruch made the mistake of thinking, including postulating that only matter is eternal. If that is the case, then matter is god which is, of course, pantheism. Proving that Jews can be every bit as intolerant as anyone else, the Jewish community issued a cherem against him, kind of a writ of excommunication. It said:

With the judgment of the angels and the sentence of the saints, we anathematize, execrate, curse and cast out Baruch de Espinoza, the whole of the sacred community assenting, in presence of the sacred books with the six-hundred-and-thirteen precepts written therein, pronouncing against him the malediction wherewith Elisha cursed the children, and all the maledictions written in the Book of the Law. Let him be accursed by day, and accursed by night; let him be accursed in his lying down, and accursed in his rising up; accursed in going out and accursed in coming in. May the Lord never more pardon or acknowledge him; may the wrath and displeasure of the Lord burn henceforth against this man, load him with all the curses written in the Book of the Law, and blot out his name from under the sky; may the Lord sever him from all the tribes of Israel, weight him with all the maledictions of the firmament contained in the Book of Law; and may all ye who are obedient to the Lord your God be saved this day.

Hereby then are all admonished that none hold converse with him by word of mouth, none hold communication with him by writing; that no one do him any service, no one abide under the same roof with him, no one approach within four cubits length of him, and no one read any document dictated by him, or written by his hand.

Ouch! Baruch, who renamed himself Benedict (which also means "blessed"), later reasonably said:

I have laboured carefully, not to mock, lament, or execrate human actions,
but to understand them.

Well, that's his first problem right there! Even though he was hated by his peers, he is much beloved today. Jorge Luis Borges wrote this poem about him:

Time carries him as the river carries
A leaf in the downstream water.
No matter. The enchanted one insists
And shapes God with delicate geometry.
Since his illness, since his birth,
He goes on constructing God with the word.
The mightiest love was granted him
Love that does not expect to be loved.

Even Einstein, not known for his poetry or fits of passion, wrote the following lines in a copy of Zu Spinozas Ethik:

How much do I love that noble man
More than I could tell with words
I fear though he'll remain alone
With a holy halo of his own.

Happy birthday to Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, the French artist born on this day in 1864 whose works you've probably seen. And another one to Scott Joplin, the Ragtime composer born on this day in 1868 and best known for Maple Leaf Rag and The Entertainer. On this day in 1572, John Knox died. He was largely responsible for the introduction and eventual dominance of Calvinism/Presbyterianism in Scotland. In his final will, he wrote:

None have I corrupted, none have I defrauded; merchandise have I not
made.

which sounds suspiciously like the 42 Negative Declarations of Ma'at. I wonder if he was a closet Egyptian. As for whether he was a good influence on Scotland or not, I relate this story. I visited several monasteries in Scotland. In one, there were some high crosses which had been smashed by Knox's people. In another, there was a head of a statue of Jesus which had been knocked off by others Knox had inspired, and thrown down a latrine. I'll let you draw your own conclusions.

Diego Rivera, another revolutionary, died on this day in 1957. He was the husband of Frida Kahlo, and a muralist.

Finally, Freddie Mercury, the lead singer of Queen (who was born in Zanzibar!), died on this day in 1991. Of his band, he said:

The concept of Queen is to be regal and majestic. Glamour is part of us, and
we want to be dandy.

He succeeded. I leave you with a fitting Queen melody: Who Wants to Live Forever?

History of the Day: 10/25

On this day in 1983, the U.S. and it's international coalition of really, really small Caribbean allies invaded Grenada to the consternation of almost every other world power. When Thatcher expressed her displeasure (as Grenada was part of the Commonwealth and all), Reagan did that blank expression thing all my students do when I ask them why they have the teacher version of the textbook while working on the chapter questions, and then said, "Well ... ummm ... it's because ... ummm ... you say GreNAYda, and I say GreNAHda ...," at which point Dan Quayle joined in and said, "You say potato and I say ... pee oh tee a ... toe?" Mostly, I'm just embarassed because they called it "Operation Urgent Fury" which, I'm sorry, just kind of sounds like a bowel condition. Happy Birthday to Johann Strauss the II, Austrian composer of the Blue Danube, born on this day in 1825. I tried to think of a good joke for him, but nothing presented itself, and I knew if I tried I'd just be grasping at Strauss. Georges Bizet, the French composer responsible for the opera Carmen (you've probably heard Toreador) was born 13 years later. Of being a composer and musician he once said: What a beautiful art, but what a wretched profession. Speaking of art, Happy Birthday to Pablo Picasso (1881) who, somehow, was able to capture the uncertainty of his age and the human condition by painting the world through beer goggles. Guernica commemorates the bombing of a Spanish town by Germans during the Spanish civil war. Weeping Woman ... well, it's kind of self-explanatory. Crucifixion is an odd one. Although you can barely tell what's going on, it contains all the elements of a traditional rendering of the crucifixion (sun and moon, Mary and St. John, wounds). But my favorite painting of his is Don Quixote. Cool. Two more modern musicians were also born on this day. Jon Anderson (1944) fronted the band Yes. If you tune into your local rock station, you're likely to hear Roundabout or Seen All Good People even today. Remember that 80s movie Legend where Tom Cruise was a woodland kid and Tim Curry was a ginormous devil? Anderson also sang the main theme from that movie, Loved by the Sun. Ed Robertson (1970) is the lead singer and songwriter for Barenaked Ladies. The lyrics to their songs are unbelievably complex, often depressing and usually quite deep (or playful, depending on the song). Here's two of their lesser-known but truly fantastic ditties, When I Fall and What a Good Boy. Geoffrey Chaucer (pictured here) died on this day in 1400. If you haven't read the Canterbury Tales, you should. It's a nasty, nasty book. You'd be surprised. Here's a small excerpt from the prologue to the Summoner's Tale. I'll leave it in the Middle English, but you can get the main gist of his point. This part details a trip to Hell where the speaker is looking for the friars and wonders why he can't find any. Just so you know, the Summoner does NOT like friars: Hold up thy tayl, thou sathanas!--quod he; --shewe forth thyn ers, and lat the frere se Where is the nest of freres in this place!-- And er that half a furlong wey of space, Right so as bees out swarmen from an hyve, Out of the develes ers ther gonne dryve Twenty thousand freres on a route, And thurghout helle swarmed al aboute, And comen agayn as faste as they may gon, And in his ers they crepten everychon. He clapte his tayl agayn and lay ful stille. EEK! Finally, today is the feastday of Saints Crispin and Crispian. Their beagle, Crispy the wonder-dog, didn't make it onto the roster. They are patron saints of cobblers because they acted kind of like those elves in that one fairy tale, making shoes by night so they could preach in the day. The resident king killed them because he wanted a pie and all they could provide him was a shoe. (Get it, get it????) Shakespeare immortalized the day in his play Henry V, when said king rouses his men to battle with one of the truly great inspirational speeches: This story shall the good man teach his son; And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by, From this day to the ending of the world, But we in it shall be remember'd; We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he today that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile, This day shall gentle his condition: And gentlemen in England now abed Shall think themselves accursed they were not here, And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day. Here is Kenneth Branagh (who will be directing the new Thor movie coming out in 2011, hooray!!!) as Henry V giving the speech. And here is the greatest inspirational speech of all time. I listen to it every day right before 5th period. Once more onto the breach, dear friends, once more or close up the wall with our English/Math/Science/Social Studies dead!!

History of the Day: 10/19

In 1781, Lord Cornwallis surrendered to George Washington at Yorktown while (allegedly) an English band played The World Turned Upside Down. You can hear this song, and other protest songs, on the truly fantastic album English Protest Songs by Chumbawamba.

Poetess Edna St. Vincent Millay, died on this day in 1950. She is best known for this snippet, which describes the life of a teacher well:

My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends--
It gives a lovely light!

Johnathan Swift also died on this day in 1745. Although he is best known for Gulliver's Travels, he is a prolific writer of many poems, plays and even A Modest Proposal for population control. He once wrote:

I never wonder to see men wicked,
but I often wonder to see them not ashamed.

Sometimes, reading Gulliver's Travels, I wonder if he was under the influence. Speaking of mind-altering substances, happy birthday to Patrick Simmons, one of the bajillion members of the Doobie Brothers, the band who sang such memorable hits as Jesus Is Just Alright.

Jesus was just all right with two other guys as well. Isaac Jogues was a Jesuit missionary to the Huron until a Mowhawk tribe captured and tortured him, cutting off several of his fingers. He lived as a slave among them, teaching them Christianity, until he was rescued by Dutch traders. But, once freed, he returned as a missionary to the Mowhawk. They blamed him when sickness and crop failure struck the tribe, clubbed him to death and beheaded him on this day in 1646.

That same year, another Jesuit missionary named Jean de Brébeuf was working as a missionary among the Huron in Canada as well. However, in 1649, an Iroquois tribe wiped out the Huron tribe he was with and took him prisoner. He was fastened to stakes and tortured to death by scalping, mock baptism using boiling water, fire, necklaces of red hot hatchets and mutilation. Brébeuf did not make a single outcry while he was being tortured and the astounded Iroquois later cut out his heart and ate it in hopes of gaining his courage. Brébeuf, in an attempt to translate the Nativity story to the Huron, wrote a Christmas hymn called The Huron Carol. Here it is in the original Huron, and the English lyrics.

Finally, today is the Hindu festival of Dasara, which commemorates the defeat of Ravana by Rama and his army of warrior monkeys. I've always thought that every religion should have more warrior monkeys.

History of the Day: 10/18

In 1648, Boston Shoemakers formed the first labor union in the US. This is fortuitous, as they were uniquely suited for a walkout. Moby Dick was published on this day in 1851. There is an interesting discussion on the color white in the book:

Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way? Or is it, that as in essence whiteness is not so much a color as the visible absence of color; and at the same time the concrete of all colors; is it for these reasons that there is such a dumb blankness, full of meaning, in a wide landscape of snows- a colorless, all-color of atheism from which we shrink? And when we consider that other theory of the natural philosophers, that all other earthly hues — every stately or lovely emblazoning — the sweet tinges of sunset skies and woods; yea, and the gilded velvets of butterflies, and the butterfly cheeks of young girls; all these are but subtile deceits, not actually inherent in substances, but only laid on from without; so that all deified Nature absolutely paints like the harlot, whose allurements cover nothing but the charnel-house within; and when we proceed further, and consider that the mystical cosmetic which produces every one of her hues, the great principle of light, for ever remains white or colorless in itself, and if operating without medium upon matter, would touch all objects, even tulips and roses, with its own blank tinge — pondering all this, the palsied universe lies before us a leper; and like wilful travellers in Lapland, who refuse to wear colored and coloring glasses upon their eyes, so the wretched infidel gazes himself blind at the monumental white shroud that wraps all the prospect around him. And of all these things the Albino whale was the symbol. Wonder ye then at the fiery hunt?

My, my! I feel so symbolic. This reminds me of two things, the saddest story I've heard in a while, and my favorite joke:

What is big, purple, and lives in the ocean?

Moby Grape.

In 1929, women were officially considered "Persons" under Canadian law. I'm sure they were all relieved to find that out.

We remember two musicians: John Taverner, an amazing composer of liturgical works who died on this day in 1545; and Charles Gounod, primarily known for his Ave Maria, who died on this day in 1893. In other musical history, the Grand Ole Opry opened in 1925 and the first transistor radio was developed in 1954.

History of the Day: 10/17

On this day in 1814 at a brewery in London, a huge vat containing over 135,000 gallons of beer ruptured, causing other vats in the same building to succumb in a domino effect. As a result, more than 323,000 gallons of beer burst out and gushed into the streets. The wave of beer destroyed two homes and crumbled the wall of the Tavistock Arms pub, trapping the barmaid under the rubble. 9 people died, 8 from drowning and 1 from alcohol poisoning. It is believed they all died happy. In England, this came to be known as the "London Beer Flood." In Ireland, they know it as "Breakfast." And in the U.S., we know it as "Wall Street."

Speaking of liquidity causing great devastation, today is also the day that, in 1973, OPEC began an oil embargo against a number of Western countries considered to have helped Israel in its war against Syria.

And speaking of relations between Israel and the Middle East, on this day in 539, Cyrus the Great of Persia (ancient Iran) marched into Babylon and released the Hebrew people from almost 70 years of exile with the first declaration of human rights (more or less). Today, the current president of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has continued that tradition. Just as Cyrus removed them from Babylon so they could go home, Ahmadinejad has promised to "wipe Israel of the face of the earth," presumably so they could go home ... permanently. Ain't that sweet?

I must apologize, for I totally missed National Grouch Day on the 15th. But that's OK, 'cause some of us like to celebrate all year 'round! Remember, keep the spirit of Grouch Day in your heart and you can always have that special feeling that the world has somehow treated you more unfairly than, say, an orphaned child from Darfur. While we're on the subject of those less fortunate, today is the International Day for the Eradication of Poverty. Tennessee Ernie Ford, who died on this day in 1991, sang what might be the theme song for the poor, 16 Tons.

There have always been those who have penned tunes that lifted up the plight of the oppressed. Julia Ward Howe died on this day in 1910. Her Battle Hymn of the Republic became the rallying cry of a nation at war and made it seem like we were fighting against slavery rather than to preserve the Union. It's a powerful hymn, especially the line:

As He died to make men holy, let us live to make men free ...

My favorite version of the hymn was performed by Elvis Pressley, who sang it as
part of An American Trilogy, which combines it with Dixieland and a haunting slave song from the Bahamas, All My Trials:

Hush little baby don't you cry
You know your mama was born to die.
All my trials Lord soon be over

If religion were a thing that money could buy
You know the rich would live and the poor would die.
All my trials Lord soon be over

What's interesting about the song is that it was based on an older song, John Brown's Body Lies a'Molderin' in the Grave. Here are two stanzas:

Old John Brown's body lies moldering in the grave,
While weep the sons of bondage whom he ventured all to save;
But tho he lost his life while struggling for the slave,
His soul is marching on.

John Brown was John the Baptist of the Christ we are to see,
Christ who of the bondmen shall the Liberator be,
And soon thruout the Sunny South the slaves shall all be free,
For his soul is marching on.

What's even more interesting is that Howe herself was a pacifist. She was the first to call for a celebration of Mother's Day. But it wasn't a time for long-distance phone calls (or telegraphs) and Hallmark cards. She said:

Arise then...women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts!
Whether your baptism be of water or of tears!
Say firmly:
"We will not have questions answered by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage,
For caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country,
Will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

From the bosum of a devastated Earth a voice goes up with
Our own. It says: "Disarm! Disarm!
The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."
Blood does not wipe our dishonor,
Nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil at the summons of war,
Let women now leave all that may be left of home
For a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace...
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
But of God -

In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of nationality,
May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient
And the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.

She was also kind of scary-lookin'.

Derek Bell, once harpist for the Irish band The Chieftans, died on this day in 2002. Here is playing Sí Bheag, Sí Mhor (pronounced "Sheebeg, Sheemore") written by Turlough O'Carolan. What does this have to do with oppression? Well, it tells the story of rival queens, one from a small hill (Sí Bheag) and the other from a larger one (Sí Mhor), arguing over which is superior:

You were never as noble as us,
in degree conferred in tribe or church;
Take your talk away from us, it makes no sense,
Remove your foot and hand from us!

How Marxist! Thus begin an epic battle which only abates when they are both attacked by a faerie army. Thus, a truce is made and they fight together. In the U.S., this is called "politics."

Frédéric Chopin died on this day in 1849. I don't know that he did any particularly poignant songs regarding the poor and downtrodden (although he was Polish), but he was a master of the Nocturne. You can still visit his heart, which was placed inside a pillar at Holy Cross Church in Warsaw.

Speaking of hearts, today is the feastday of St. Marguerite Marie Alacoque, who popularized devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Hmmm ... must have been a liberal. (Get it?
Bleeding hearts?)

And today is the feastday of another saint, Ignatius of Antioch. He's primarily cool for the awesome icon of his martyrdom. Of his impending death, he wrote to the Romans:

Allow me to be eaten by the beasts, which are my way of reaching to God.
I am God's wheat, and I am to be ground by the teeth of wild beasts,
so that I may become the pure bread of Christ.

Sigh. How did Christians get so wimpy? Somehow, an icon of not being allowed to pray in school doesn't seem to pack the same punch. I just can't imagine celebrating "The Feastday of That Time When They Made St. Bertha Say 'Happy Holidays' When She Really Wanted To Say 'Merry Christmas,' 'Cause You Know Jesus Really Wants Us To Hear 'Merry Christmas' When We Spend $1,500.00 At Wal Mart For Presents." Just doesn't have quite the same oomph, ya know?

Finally, today is the Sweetest Day, a made-up holiday concocted by confectioners which, in their words, is an

occasion which offers all of us an opportunity to remember not only the
sick, aged and orphaned, but also friends, relatives and associates whose
helpfulness and kindness we have enjoyed.

Ah, well, it's an excuse for candy, right?

History of the Day: 10/12

Lots of things to celebrate today. It's Columbus Day! We can celebrate the discovery of ... (what, it was already discovered?) ... ok, European discovery of ... (what, the Vikings had already discovered it?) ... ok, Spanish discovery of ... (what, Columbus wasn't Spanish) ... ummmm ... the day Columbus got here! Hooray! Mexico calls it Dia de la Raza, or "Race Day." We don't celebrate that here until this coming weekend. American Indians all over these two continents call it "Oh, Crap" day.

Happy Six Billion Day! On this day in 1999 the six billionth living human in the world was born.

Today is also International Moment of Frustration Scream Day! At noon, you're supposed to go outside and scream in frustration for thirty seconds. It's better than See You At The Pole!

On this day in 1216, King John of England (of Robin Hood and Magna Carta fame) lost his crown jewels (ahem) in the Wash while fleeing the French. This so upset him that he died six days later. There is some speculation that his death was due to poisoned ale, poisoned plums or a "surfeit of peaches". Poor King John. But, as A.A. Milne said, King John was not a good man.

Thomas Ravenscroft published Three Blind Mice on this day in 1609. It is believed to be about Queen "Bloody" Mary executing three protestant bishops. Here are the original lyrics, obviously from a time when there were more e's lying around:

Three Blinde Mice,
Three Blinde Mice,
Dame Iulian,
Dame Iulian,
the Miller and his merry olde Wife,
shee scrapte her tripe licke thou the knife.

The tune has been used in quite a few classical works, including Haydn's Symphony No. 83 in G minor. I, however, have newly become a fan of Haydn's Symphony 104. If you ever have a chance to hear it performed live, do. You'll fall in love with it, and anyone who plays it.

On this day in 1681, a London woman was publicly flogged for the crime of "involving herself in politics." And in 1773, America's first insane asylum opened in Virginia for 'Persons of Insane and Disordered Minds'.

The Pledge of Allegiance was first recited in unison by public school students in 1892. The Pledge was conceived by Francis Bellamy, a socialist who wanted to reinforce loyalty to the Union in post-Civil War America. According to The Youth’s Companion, 65 (1892): 446–447):

At a signal from the Principal the pupils, in ordered ranks, hands to the side, face the Flag. Another signal is given; every pupil gives the flag the military salute -- right hand lifted, palm downward, to a line with the forehead and close to it. Standing thus, all repeat together, slowly, “I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it stands; one Nation indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.”

At the words, “to my Flag,” the right hand is extended gracefully, palm upward, toward the Flag, and remains in this gesture till the end of the affirmation; whereupon all hands immediately drop to the side.

Here is a picture of American students using the salute mentioned above, called the "Bellamy Salute," while pledging the flag. The phrase "under God" was not added until 1954, when it was deemed necessary to combat the godless commies like Nikita Khrushchev who, on this day in 1960, pounded his shoe at a UN General Assembly meeting.

Happy birthday to the composer Ralph Vaughan Williams born on this day in 1872. Here are some of his compositions:

• Fantasia on Greensleeves
• Excerpt from Five Variants on a Theme of Thomas Tallis
• Fantasia on a Theme by Thomas Tallis

By the way, "fancy" is a shortened version of "fantasy" which, itself, is from the Greek "phantasia/fantasia". Cool, huh! Williams also set Walt Whitman's Dona Nobis Pacem to music. I couldn't find the music, but I had to include this excerpt from the poem. A chorus sings these words while a lone soprano sings a variation of "Dona nobis pacem" or "Grant us peace":

Word over all, beautiful as the sky,
Beautiful that war and all its deeds of carnage must in time be utterly lost,
That the hands of the sisters Death and Night incessantly softly wash again
and ever again, this soiled world;
For my enemy is dead, a man divine as myself is dead,
I look where he lies white-faced and still in the coffin - I draw near,
Bend down and touch lightly with my lips the white face in the coffin.

Happy birthday to Chris Botti, born in 1962. He does a mean "What'll I Do." But, since I couldn't find it, here is his rendering of "Someone to Watch over Me."

Martie Maguire of the Dixie Chicks was born 7 years later. Here is the Dixie Chicks horrendously sad "You Were Mine."

Finally, John Denver died on this day in 1997. I miss him. Here's another sad song, "Follow Me." Denver's "I Am the Hawk" reminds me of a poem by the ancient Irish poet Amergin.

History of the Day: 10/9

Happy Leif Ericson Day!! Hanga danga durgen ... Let's all get drunk on mead and race our longboats.

On this day in 1635, Roger Williams was banished from the Massachusetts colony as a religious dissident for (sit down, this is really bad) speaking out against punishments for religious offenses, espousing religious tolerance and spreading the unfounded rumor that the natives were the true owners of the land. Here's some of his heretical speechifying:

If the civil magistrates be Christians or members of the church, able to prophesy in the church of Christ, ... they are bound by the command of Christ to suffer opposition to their doctrine with meekness and gentleness, and to be so far from striving to subdue their opposites with the civil sword, that they are bound with patience and meekness to wait if God peradventure will please to grant repentance unto their opposites...

The sword may make a whole nation of hypocrites. But to recover a soul from Satan by repentance, and to bring them from anti-Christian doctrine or worship to the Christian doctrine and worship, in the least true internal or external submission, is only worked by the all-powerful God through the sword of the Spirit in the hand of His spiritual officers.

So, he purchased some land from the tribes and founded Rhode Island, the first colony to banish slavery and allow Quakers, Jews and Christians to live together which; I suppose, is why it's the smallest.

The Phaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaantom of the Opera premieeeeeeeeeeered in 1986....... and still, Cats tries to outdo it.

Happy Birthday to Camille Saint-Saëns who, with a name like Camille, you know must be French. One of his best pieces, and potentially one of the best classical works of all time, is his Organ Symphony. This melody was used in the movie Babe when Farmer Hoggett sings If I Had Words to his sherpherd pig. I love that song. Saint-Saëns' Danse Macabre is featured in Neil Gaiman's Graveyard Book. By the way, did you hear that in the graveyard that contains Bach, Beethoven and Brahms; at night they all sit up and are furiously erasing manuscript paper? When the keeper of the cemetery was asked what was happening, he replied, "Oh, they're just decomposing."

Speaking of death, today is the birthday of Jim Starlin. What does this have to do with death, you ask? Well, I answer, he created the Marvel charachter Thanos (from the Greek "thanatos", or death) who was in lurve with Lady Death (the cosmic personification of death) and then steals all the soul gems to make the Infinity Gauntlet so he can start wiping out the population of the universe as an offering to death and it was, like, this HUGE crossover series in Marvel which totally changed the entire industry and ... ummm .... I guess I should stop, now. Anyway, I MET Jim Starlin, but DIDN'T KNOW IT!!! When I got interviewed for the Gilgamesh video thingie in NY, he was the guy who was interviewed after me and he was right there and I didn't know it was HIM! AUGH!!! It's probably for the best, 'cause I probably would have had a total, fanboy meltdown right there. 'Cause, you know, he also wrote the Death of Captain Marvel . Oh, and he also did Death in the Family in which Jason Todd (the third Robin) gets beat up and killed by the Joker. And he ...

Wait ... what were we doing? Oh, right, history ... sorry.

Happy birthday to John Lennon, who is big, but never quite got as big as Jesus. He was a funny guy. When performing I Want to Hold Your Hand, he changed the words to "I want to hold your gland" because no one could hear him anyway for all the screaming and fainting. And when they performed at the Royal Variety Show (in front of the Queen), he said:

For our next song, I'd like to ask for your help. For the people in the cheaper seats, clap your hands... and the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelery.

His song, Imagine (which sounds like a 4 minute Communist Manifesto) is the 3rd greatest song of all time (according to Rolling Stone). In it, he describes what he called Nutopia. When criticized for his own millions of dollars, he said:

What would you suggest I do? Give everything away and walk the streets? The Buddhist says, 'Get rid of the possessions of the mind.' Walking away from all the money would not accomplish that. It's like the Beatles. I couldn't walk away from the Beatles. That's one possession that's still tagging along, right? If I walk away from one house or 400 houses, I'm not gonna escape it.

Speaking of sellouts, today is the birthday of Brian Lamb of The Who. In addition to a rock opera and such notable songs as Teenage Wasteland and My Generation, they did an album titled The Who Sell Out. Here's my favorite song of theirs, Behind Blue Eyes. I also especially enjoy their eerily prophetic We Won't Get Fooled Again.

Jackson Browne is 61 today. He wrote the Eagle's song Take It Easy, The Pretender, Barricades of Heaven and a bunch of other cool songs, including one of the greatest Christmas song of all time, The Rebel Jesus. Here is a collage of many of his songs.

Finally, today is the feastday of St. Denis. Remember St. Osyth, who had her head cut off and walked to her abbey with it? Denis is another one of those. It reminds me of Mike, the headless chicken (who lived for several years after his head was removed).

History of the Day: 9/19

Ahoy, me Beauties! Avast and arrrrrr and all that. Today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day! And remember, they make clear rum. Verrrrrry hard to detect. I'm just sayin', is all. Speaking of pirates, did you know they beat the U.S. to establishing a democracy? Not kidding! Perhaps that's one reason why St. Augustine noted that empires are little more than large scale piracy. Read the very short Book IV, Chapter 4 from his City of God. To make it REALLY fun, exchange "Alexander" for "Bush" and "Pirate" for "Bin Ladin." Or "Alexander" for "Obama" and "Pirate" for "Somali." Or, you can just watch this fun and entertaining "Schoolhouse Rock" version of the same reading.

The Continental Congress passed their first budget on this day in 1778. We've been waiting for them to do it again ever since. In other governmental history, Tipper Gore and her possets formed the Parents Music Resource Center as Frank Zappa and other musicians testified in Congress about obscenity in rock music. See, censorship is for ALL political parties!

Lots of important musicians to remember today. On this day in 1981, Simon and Garfunkel reunited for a free concert in Central Park. And it was sooooo good! Why is this important? Because they're my favorite, secular group. Why are they my favorite, secular group? Because I'm a geek.

Paul Simon is brilliant in his own right, but the two of them together are sublime. Who else could take composition by the medieval composer Orlando di Lassi and make it even more awesome (Benedictus)? Probably, their most well known song is Sound of Silence. By the way, if you haven't heard of Emiliana Torrini, you should. Here's her cover of the same song. Here's a couple of other good ones from Simon and Garfunkel:

• For Emily (one of the most beautiful love songs ever)
• The Boxer

He's not a singer, but Adam West was born in 1928. You know ... Batman? Bam, biff, pock, zam? Holy campy cheesfest? Have you ever seen the Batman movie, the original one? You need to, if you haven't.

Back to music, Cass Elliot, of the Mamas and the Papas, was born in 1941. She wasn't always a singer, you know. She was at a party the rest of the members of the band were attending and was ... how shall I say ... in an expanded state of mind. Then, a piece of bronze pipe fell and hit her in the head. After waking up from the concussion, she found herself in an expanded state of voice. When the group heard her, they signed her up! She died nine years later. Their two most famous songs are Monday, Monday (also known as "The Anthem for Public School") California Dreamin'.

My favorite singer of all time is Rich Mullins. He died on this day in 1997, and it was a sad day. There are few like him in the CCM scene. Most just ape popular secular music or churn out vapid, bland tapioca. (As one wise woman once put it, "It's like Bon Jovi, but more repetition and less meaning.") But there was real heart and soul and ... reality, in Rich's songs. And he lived what he sang. For instance, when he heard that the average income of an American is $25,000; he told the elders of his church to manage his funds. They paid him a $25,000 stipend, and the rest went to charities. He didn't even know how much he made. If you want to be inspired, find a video called Homeless Man: The Life of Rich Mullins.

I wish I could have found some of his best songs, like Calling Out Your Name or Hard to Get, but these are good, too.

• Hard to Get (one of my top favorite songs of all time)
• Screen Door (this is a fun one, the video, too)
  
• We Are Not As Strong As We Think We Are
• Hold Me Jesus

Happy Birthday to the Emoticon! :-) It has a longer history than you'd expect. The National Telegraphic Review and Operators Guide in April 1857 documented the use of the number 73 in Morse code to express "love and kisses" (later reduced to the more formal "best regards"):

--... ...--

Typographical emoticons were published in 1881 by the U.S. satirical magazine Puck.

Later, in 1912 Ambrose Bierce (who wrote the hilarious Devil's Dictionary) proposed...

... an improvement in punctuation - the snigger point, or note of cachinnation: it is written thus \___/! and presents a smiling mouth. It is to be appended, with the full stop, to every jocular or ironical sentence.

But the official birthday is today, based on this proto-e-mail sent in 1982:

19-Sep-82 11:44 Scott E Fahlman :)
From: Scott E Fahlman

I propose that the following character sequence for joke markers:

:-)

Read it sideways. Actually, it is probably more economical to mark
things that are NOT jokes - given current trends. For this, use

:-(

And, finally, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Tonight we're gonna party like it's 5767! Why? Because it's Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. This is slightly different than other new year celebrations because, in this one, God judges the year to come, not the year that has already been. How's that for pressure? For more on Rosh Hashanah, read this. Or you can listen to Leonard Cohen's song Who by Fire which is, itself, a lyricization of the Unetanah tokef, a Rosh Hashanah prayer.

History of the Day: 9/12, 13

Happy birthday to Henry Hudson, born on September 12th in 1575. On his 32nd birthday, he began exploring of the Hudson River. He must have been so surprised when he found out it was named after him!


In 1847, the Battle of Chapultepec began in the War of Southwestern Expansion (that is, Mexican-American War). In this battle, Los Niños Héroes, nine military school students, held off a vastly superior U.S. force for some time. When the last one realized he was the only one left, he wrapped himself in the Mexican flag and leapt from his tower. The U.S. general saluted his corpse.


Even more important, Mexicans commemorate the execution of the Batallón de San Patricio, or St. Patrick's Battlion, an Irish-American military unit. They had come to this country for a better life and had, almost immediately, been drafted into service for the U.S. The movie Gangs of New York has a moving depiction of this (skip to the six minute mark) featuring a traditional Irish song, Paddy's Lamentation. As they fought, they began to wonder why they were warring with the majority Protestant Americans against their Catholic brothers from Mexico. So, they defected en masse. Eventually, they were captured and sentenced to death.


They were hanged on this day in 1847. General Scott specified that they were to be hanged with Chapultepec in view and that the precise moment of their death was to occur when the U.S. flag replaced the Mexican tricolor atop the citadel. He was so thoughtful!


You know, all this talk of the Irish and the recent release of Beatle's Rock Band (which is AWESOME!) makes me wonder, what if the Beatles had been Irish?


In 1933, Leó Szilárd conceived the idea of the nuclear chain reaction while waiting for a red light. The idea bulb that appeared over his head blew off the top of his car.


Ben Folds was born on this day in 1966. He's amazing. If there happens to be someone whom you really love a lot, you should play this song for them. Johnny Cash died on this day in 2003. He's also amazing. He didn't write this song, but he was meant to sing it.

On September 13th, 122; Rome began building Hadrian's Wall to keep out the unwashed rabble from the North. In 1814, Francis Scott Key wrote the lyrics to the Star Spangled Banner. Now, we can commemorate our own wall AND our flag all on the same day!


On this day in 1848, Vermont railroad worker Phineas Gage incredibly survived a 3 foot iron rod being driven through his head. The reported effects on his behavior and personality stimulated thinking about the nature of the brain and its functions. Henry Bliss, the first person killed in an auto accident (1899), was slightly less fortunate. On the bright side, no one would have remembered his name had he not expired.

Happy Holy-Crap-It's-Hot Day! In 1922, the temperature in Al 'Aziziyah, Libya (Arabic for "snowball's chance") reached 136.04°F.

And, finally, the 13th is the official end of "Beard Week" with the death of Ambrose Burnside. In addition to being a truly inept military leader, he also gave his name to sideburns. No, I'm not kidding. Look at him! You could kill someone with those things!!! Except Confederates.

History of the Day: 9/11

Today is 9/11. Of course, we can't even say those two numbers any more without thinking of 2001. Rather than demean it with my words or use it for political fodder, I'll just let you listen to Faure's In Paradisum.

Lots of musical birthdays today. Arvo Pärt, a minimalist composer from Estonia, was born in 1935. Here are two of his songs, very simple and beautiful. Anti-Mozart.

• The Hanging Man
• Silouan's Song

Tommy Shaw, the lead singer of Styx, was born in 1953. He is the modren man ...

• Mr. Roboto
• Come Sail Away

Harry Connick Jr. (of SunCom ... and we get it fame) was born 14 years later. He plays about twenty instruments. After Katrina, his rendition of the following song became the anthem of New Orleans: Do You Know What It Means. He also sings one of my theme songs: If I Only Had A Brain. And this ditty which deserves to be on everyone's album of happy songs: Kiss Me.

Peter Tosh, the Rastafarian, was murdered on this day in 1987. I was going to link to one of his songs, but they were all about legalizing something and not criticizing it. He must have been talking about the 19th Amendment. Right? Or Health Care?

And, Remember Pinochet, the dictator of Chile? It was on 9/11/73 that he came into power in a military coup aided by the CIA. Let's do a quick roll call: Pinochet, Saddam Hussein, the Taliban ... and George W. Bush, a complete set of crazy, destructive despots we've put into power around the world. I had hope for Obama, but since he's still hiding information for "National Security," and his Secretary of State is talking about "extending our umbrella of protection in the Middle East," that hope is fading fast.

(Note: I'm re-reading this in 2023 and thinking about how fondly I recall the days of normal presidential ridiculousness like George Bush.  Make America 2001 again?)

History of the Day: 9/10

In 1977, the last man executed by guillotine was beheaded. It puts me in mind of the Monty Python song "Oliver Cromwell" which begins:

The most interesting thing about King Charles I is that he was 5' 6" at the beginning of his reign, but only 4' 8" at the end of it ...

For those of a feminist bent, Mary Wollstonecraft died 9/10/1797. She authored several books, the most famous of which, "Vindication of the Rights of Woman," she wrote only five years before her death. Here are some quotes from her which, if you do a journal activity, might be useful:

• No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks.
• Virtue can only flourish amongst equals.
• Every political good carried to the extreme must be productive of evil.
• It is justice, not charity, that is wanting in the world.

Finally, and most importantly, twelve years ago an 11lb 7oz baby boy was brought into the world, the best thing that's happened since Gregorian chant gave way to polyphony.

History of the Day: 9/8, 9/9

This is my self-proclaimed "Beard Week" in remembrance of Tsar Peter of Russia who in 1698, in an attempt to move people into modern times, imposed a tax on beards. I'll not shave these mournful seven days in protest! Also, in celebration of Beard Week, you can transfer all measurements to beard seconds or "the length an average physicist's beard grows in a second." For instance, 100 meters = 20,000,000,000 beard seconds.

September the 8th is the birthday of Richard Strauss, one of my favorite composers largely due to his fantastic rendering of Don Quixote as a cello. Here is Yo Yo Ma performing a piece from the work. And happy birthday to Mary (Jesus' mom), whose birthday is celebrated on this day by Roman Catholic and Orthodox churches.

But perhaps most important, Star Trek TOS (the Original Series) first aired on this day in 1966. Did you know there were lyrics to the original theme song?

Beyond the rim of the star-light
My love is wand'ring in star-flight
I know he'll find in star-clustered reaches
Love, strange love a star-woman teaches.
I know his journey ends never
His star trek will go on forever.
But tell him while he wanders his starry sea
Remember, remember me.

I wish this were a hoax, but it's not. The story behind it is even more disturbing. Well, almost as disturbing, but not quite. DS9 definitely had the best Star Trek intro by far. To celebrate, you can take the Star Trek Personality Test!

September 9th is the anniversary of the Battle of Svolder, in which Olaf of Sweden and Sven Forkbeard (no kidding) ambushed Olaf of Norway and soundly defeating him. There's a popular folk song (Omurin Langi or "The Long Serpent") in case you want to sing all 84 verses to commemorate it with your students. Or, you can recite The Musician's Tale/Saga of King Olaf from Longfellow's American version of the Canterbury Tales. 'Cause, you know, how often are you really going to have the chance to say "Forkbeard" in your lifetime, right?

History of the Day: 8/3

On this day in 8 AD, the Romans defeated the Dalmatians on the river Bath. Really, I don't care, but it's kind of fun to say.

In 881, the Franks led by Louis III defeated the Vikings at Saucourt-en Vimeu in the first and last French victory in history. The French celebrated this victory in the epic poem Ludwigslied. On this Day in 1914, they celebrated it again by surrendering when Germany declared war against France. They celebrated it yet again in 1934 with a preemptive surrender when Hitler became supreme leader of Germany by joining the offices of President and Chancellor into Führer. In other French history, Niger gained its independence from France in 1960, clearing the way for the most uncomfortable question middle schoolers get to ask their teachers in 7th grade geography.

In 1492, Columbus set sail on the ocean blue. The Spanish monarchs celebrated by expelling all the Jews from Spain. Here are some other ways to remember Columbus' voyage:

• This quote helps: "In fourteen-hundred-and-ninety-two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue."
• If you can't remember that, just remember the year 1493. Should be a year before that.
• 1+4+9+2=16. And 1+6 = 7. 7 is much easier to remember than 1492. Work backwards from there.
• 1492 is 2 times 746. Or 4 times 374. I mean, 373. See how easy it is?
• Remember back in 1992, when we had the Gulf War? Now just subtract 500 years. Wait--the war was in 1991? Make that 499 years. Or 501. Hmm.
• If you know when the moon landing was, that would be an easy reference. You can do the math yourself.

Yale and Harvard commemorated Columbus' voyage by holding the first intercollegiate boat race on this day in 1852. This is quite difficult, as navigation while looking down your nose at everyone else can impair the task.

Warren G. Harding, in his greatest act as president, died August 2nd, 1923 making way for Calvin Coolidge to be inaugurated on this day that same year.

History of the Day: 7/21

On this day in 356 BC, a young man named Herostratus decided that he was too mediocre to ever be remembered in history. Realizing that he would never do anything great enough to warrant attention, he decided to go the other way, and burned the Temple of Artemis (one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World) to the ground. Hoping to stop others from pursuing similar goals, the Ephesian government banned mention of his name on penalty of death. Oops!

On this day in 1925, John T. Scopes was found guilty of teaching evolution in class, and fined $100. At issue was the belief that mankind was actually improving. Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin tried to prove this verdict wrong in 1969 by taking a huge leap for mankind. Alan Shephard, the first American in space, died 29 years later.

As you mow your lawns, cursing the humidity and heat, remember that this day in 1983 was the coldest recorded temperature (−129°F).

On this day in 1997, the fully restored USS Constitution ("Old Ironsides") celebrated her 200th birthday by setting sail for the first time in 116 years. Ever since then, the U.S. Constitution has been under attack by the rest of the government. Go figure.

Tony Blair won leadership of the Labour Party on this day in 1994, preparing him to eventually become Prime Minister. Robin Williams, who celebrates his 58th birthday today, said this of Blair and the British government:

Tony Blair, a man who must address the House Of Commons, which is like Congress with a two-drink minimum. Crazy place! "I believe my worthy opponent..." "Oh, BEEP off! BEEP, BEEP you BEEP! BEEP you!" "Will someone remove Mrs. Thatcher from the chamber?"

Williams also made this appeal against nuclear proliferation:

Jamaica would never make an atomic bomb. They may make an atomic bong...but I would rather fight a war with an atomic bong, because when the atomic bomb goes off, there's devastation and radiation. When the atomic bong goes off, there's celebration!

Today is the birthday of another politician, who also happens to be a poet, Matthew Prior (1664). He is known for his ironic statements, such as:

For hope is but a dream for those that wake.

They never taste who always drink:
They always talk, who never think.

Fantastic tyrant of the amorous heart.
How hard thy yoke, how cruel thy dart.
Those escape your anger who refuse your sway,
and those are punished most, who most obey.

Don Knotts was born on this day in 1924. I don't know if he wrote any poems, but I recall this one written about his most famous character:

We love Barney Fife.
He's the deputy of Mayberry
Andy Griffith is our life
When the show is done, we'll watch another one
Rerun, rerun, rerun, rerun

Cat Stevens, responsible for the soundtrack to the sublime Harold and Maude, was born on this day in 1948. Now, he is Yussef Islam and no longer allowed in the country.

And, finally, Singapore celebrates Racial Harmony Day today in commemoration of the Singapore Race Riot in 1964. No, I'm not kidding.