History of the Day: 1/28

Today is a red-letter day in Protestant history. The Diet of Worms (the ecclesiastical trial of Martin Luther in which he said, "Here I stand, I can do no other. God help me!") began in 1521. This is the origin of the famous children's song:

Nobody likes meEverybody hates me
I'm going to eat some worms
Big ones, fat ones,
Juicy, juicy, juicy ones
Oh, how the little ones squirm.

This is also the origin of the Beatle's song, "I'm a Loser," which was originally as follows:

I'm-a Luther!
Martin Luther!
And I'm not guilty of heresy!

Of all the battles the I've won or I've lost
There is one war where lines had been crossed.
They sold forgiveness for money, my friend.
I could not grant them my indulgences. 

Ninety-five Theses I nailed to the door
Leo the Tenth said he won't take no more!
Told Charles the Fifth, had enough of your lies!
So here I stand, I can't do otherwise! 

I'm-a Luther!
And I'm not guilty of heresy!
I'm-a Luther!
And I'm not what they think I should be!

Continuing in the Protestant vein, in 1547 another inadvertent reformer, Henry VIII, died. His 9 year old son became the first Protestant ruler of England. And in 1573, the Polish gained religious freedom with the signing of the Articles of the Warsaw Confederation.

In 1624, Sir Thomas Warner founded St. Kitts (Christopher), the first British colony in the Caribbean. 130 years later, Horace Walpole coined the word serendipity in a letter to Horace Mann.  He said he formed it from the Persian fairy tale The Three Princes of Serendip, whose heroes "were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things they were not in quest of." The name is from Serendip, an old name for Ceylon (modern Sri Lanka), from Arabic Sarandib, from Skt. Simhaladvipa "Dwelling-Place-of-Lions Island."  Aren't you glad you know that, now?

In 1813, Pride and Prejudice was first published in the United Kingdom.  This is primarily important for creating the opportunity for someone to write Pride, Prejudice and Zombies.  And, as Google celebrates, today is the 125th anniversary of the largest snowflake ... 15" wide and 8" think.

The first speeding ticket was handed out on this day in 1896 to Walter Arnold of East Peckham.  He was fined 1 shilling for driving 8mph in a 2mph zone.  It is significant that the cabby caught up with Mr. Arnold on foot.

In 1909, U.S. troops left Cuba with the exception of Guantanamo Bay.  Then President Woodrow Wilson (fan of the KKK) promised to close the base when he was elected, but was distracted by WWI.  Then FDR said he would close it, but was distracted by the economy and then WWII.  I'm just kidding about those guys.  How horrible would it be to be a president who ran for office promising to close GTMO, and then back out on the promise?  What kind of president would do that?  Speaking of bricks in the wall, the Lego company patented their product on this day in 1958.

In empty gesture history, supergroup USA for Africa recorded We Are the World to help raise funds for Ethiopian famine relief.  One year later, the Space Shuttle Challenger broke apart after liftoff, killing all seven astronauts.  John Denver, who attempted to be the civilian passenger chosen for the mission, wrote Flying for Me about Sally Ride, the teacher who was selected.  Now THAT'S a good song.  Returning to Africa, this day last year was the Friday of Anger, beginning the Egyptian protests against the Mubarak regime.

Several persons of import were born on this day.  St. Thomas Aquinas, the official philosopher of the Roman Catholic Church, was born in 1225, just before the Renaissance.  Chesterton quotes a "highly pagan poet" who said:

The Reformation happened because people hadn't the brains to understand Aquinas.

Chesterton continues, saying:

St. Thomas exalted God without lowering Man; he exalted Man without lowering Nature. Therefore, he made a cosmos of common sense; terra viventium; a land of the living.His philosophy, like his theology, is that of common sense. He does not torture the brain with desperate attempts to explain existence by explaining it away. The first steps of his mind are the first steps of any honest mind; just as the first virtues of his creed could be those of any honest peasant.

Now, Aquinas isn't my favorite of philosophers (although Chesterton is ... so maybe I should revisit him).  He did write some truly amazing Eucharistic/Communion hymns.  My family used to sing a Protestantized version of his Panis Angelicus:

Latin text	An English translation
Panis angelicus fit panis hominum; Dat panis coelicus figuris terminum: O res mirabilis! Manducat Dominum Pauper, servus et humilis.	Thus Angels' Bread is made the Bread of man today: the Living Bread from heaven with figures dost away: O wondrous gift indeed! the poor and lowly may upon their Lord and Master feed.

However, my favorite thing Aquinas ever wrote happened late in his life.  While celebrating the Feast of St. Nicholas, Christ spoke to him, asking what he desired.  Aquinas responded, "Only You."  Christ then showed him something of which he never spoke.  His clerk, Reginald, begged him to continue his work, to which Aquinas responded

 I cannot, because all that I have written seems like straw to me.

I find it simultaneously depressing, hopeful and ironic that, after a lifetime working on his massive Summa Theologica, along with many other works of theology and philosophy, when Christ revealed himself to him, he considered all his best efforts straw.  And this straw, by the admission of the man who wrote it, is hailed authoritative by the Roman church.  Were I to start now, I could never attain what Aquinas did ... and yet even if I did, it would be straw.  I also like this excerpt from a longer prayer of his:

O Lord my God, make mesubmissive without protest,poor without discouragement,chaste without regret,patient without complaint,humble without posturing,cheerful without frivolity,mature without gloom,and quick-witted without flippancy

Jackson Pollock was born on this day in 1912.  If you don't remember his work, put multicolored paint in your nose and sneeze on a canvas.  Remember, now?

Finally, on this day in 814, Carolus Magnus (better known as Charlemagne), the Holy Roman Emperor, died.  He was a pretty amazing monarch, among other things attempting to implement universal edudcation.  Here is his signature (Karolus ... or Charles), his burial shroud and the Planctus de obitu Karoli (Lament on the Death of Charlemagne).

But he is not forgotten.  With Burger King's new delivery service, you can bring Charlemagne to your door.

History of the Day: 7/15

Three famous, medieval figures from history and literature died on this day. In 778, Hruodland (also known as Roland or Orlando) died at the Battle of Roncevaux pass. His life inspired the French epic poem Chanson de Roland, the English epic poem Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came and the Childe Rowland fairy tales. So, everybody run widdershins in his memory.

Duncan I of Scotland was killed by his cousin Macbeth in 1040. This event, and the aftermath, was immortalized in Shakespeare's play, Macbeth. In a Shakespeare worthy twist of fate, he was killed by the Máel Coluim mac Donnchada of Scotland. Máel was known as "Big Head," immortalized in So I Married an Axe Murderer.

Construction of Cologne Cathedral began in 1248 with the laying of the foundation stone, containing the relics of the Three Wise Men. Construction was completed 632 years later.

In 1534, St. Ignatius of Loyala and six classmates took vows which, eventually led to the creation of the Society of Jesus, or Jesuits, 16 years later.

In 1824, freed American slaves founded Liberia. Here's a brief history.

In 1914, the Panama Canal opened for business, as the Ancon pass from the Caribbean to the Pacific. Everybody was very excited and sang this song.

While the Ancon was making it's historic passage, a male servant of Frank Lloyd Wright killed seven people with an axe in Taliesin, Wright's Wisconsin home. He then set fire to the house. I'm not sure why he did this or why this story is important, but isn't this a great song!


- 1935 – Will Rogers and Wiley Post are killed after their aircraft develops engine problems during takeoff in Barrow, Alaska. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Will_Rogers#Quotes_and_one-liners)


This day in 1945 is V-J (Victory over Japan) Day and, in Korea, Gwangbokjeol (Restoration of Light Day). Korea decided to commemorate their suffering by dividing at the 38th parallel on this day three years later, preserving the misery and oppression and darkness they had suffered for so many years under the Japanese rule, in the North.  Tensions between the two countries are always ... well ... tense, especially at the border/DMZ.  

In other liberation history, India celebrates her independence from England in 1947. Pakistan also recalls the swearing in of Muhammad Ali Jinnah as the first Governor General of Pakistan on the same day. He didn't know where Bin Ladin was hiding, either. Relations between India and Pakistan have been strained ever since. If you haven't seen the border ceremony between the two countries, you should.


In music history, the Beatles played midwife to stadium rock on this day in 1965 as they played for nearly 60,000 fans at Shea Stadium in NYC.  Four years later, the first Woodstock Music and Art Festival opened. Here is some riveting commentary on some of the bands who appeared. 

President Richard Nixon completed the break from the gold standard on this day in 1971.  Why is it that all the most revered Republican presidents did the things Republicans rail about the most today?  


- 1995 – In South Carolina, Shannon Faulkner becomes the first female cadet matriculated at The Citadel (she drops out less than a week later).(http://etymonline.com/?search=matriculated)
- 1998 – Omagh bomb in Northern Ireland, the worst terrorist incident of The Troubles

- 1717 – Blind Jack, English roadbuilder (d. 1810)
- 1769 – Napoleon Bonaparte, Corsican-born French military officer and dictator (d. 1821)
- 1771 – Sir Walter Scott, Scottish novelist and poet (d. 1832)


- Dormition of Mary
- V-J Day (and Gwangbokjeol)
- Independence Day, celebrates the independence of the Republic of the Congo from France in 1960.
- Independence Day, celebrates the independence of India from the United Kingdom in 1947.
- Earliest day on which Day of Hearts can fall, while August 21 is the latest; celebrated on the third Monday in August. (area around Haarlem and Amsterdam)

June 24th

On this day in 109 AD, the Roman aqueduct Aqua Traiana was opened for bidness. Apparently, the locals were tired of tap water, so they started piping it in from 25 miles away.

In 637, Ireland had it's biggest battle, the week-long Battle of Moira. The only winners were the Uí Néill (O'Neils or "sons of Neil") who found themselves the only clan in their area large enough to exert any influence, which they did ever after.

Almost 500 years later, another battle was fought in São Mamede, the first step in establishing Portugal as an independent kingdom. Apparently, the battle was fought over the right to put the tilde (~) over vowels, thus confusing the rest of the Romance speaking peoples. It occurs to me that, with a little work, one could make one's mustache into a tilde. And then, one could be a villain who said "nyuh" a lot. Maybe?

Continuing in the military vein, the Battle of Bannockburn was fought on this day in 1314. Although official independence didn't come 'till later, this is considered the beginning of Scottish independence from England. If you've seen Braveheart, it's the last battle, the one led by Robert the Bruce after William Wallace had been killed.  Robert the Burns, Scotland's most beloved poet, wrote the unofficial national anthem of Scotland using the same battle.  Scots Wha Hae is Robert the Bruce's speech just before Bannockburn.  The lyrics are wonderful.  I wish our national anthem were that cool.  I was fortunate to go to Scotland several years ago. There was a live band performing in a pub I was visiting.  The last song they played was Scots Wha Hae.  EVERYONE knew it and EVERYONE sang along.  I was so happy I'd learned it before I went so I could join in.  Very cool.

While I was in Scotland, I got to visit Bannockburn.  There's a huge statue of Robert the Bruce which I loved because his horse looks absolutely insane.  If that horse could talk, he would talk like Samuel L. Jackson.  I know it.  It is so.  It must be.  As an aside, not all of the statues associated with that era are as badass.  When I went to the Wallace memorial, I was confronted with (shudder), MEL GIBSON!

Back to history!  On this day in 1347, a sudden outbreak of St. John's Dance caused people in the streets of Aachen, Germany, to experience hallucinations and begin to jump and twitch uncontrollably until they collapsed from exhaustion.  Witnesses observing this phenomenon wrote,

ICH SHLIEBEN SCNELL ZVIY WELTERSCHNETTER!!

which, roughly translated means

They were waving their hands in the air like they just didn't care.

In 1509, Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon (his first wife and mother of Bloody Mary) were crowned King and Queen of England.  Their coronation song was truly inspiring.

88 years later, in 1597, Dutch explorers reached the island of Java.  They were immediately thronged by eager natives attempting to sell them coffee for £4.oo.  This caught on quickly and became a global chain known as "Fourbucks" which survives today as Starbucks.

In 1957, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that obscenity is not protected by the First Amendment in Roth v. United States.  Those bastards!  Your word for the day is grawlix.  That's the symbol or symbols used by comic artists to represent obscenity.  Speaking of that, I got Josiah an interesting book which traces the etymology of various taboo words.  This one has a particularly fascinating history.

In 1985, the first Arab or Muslim in space (سلطان بن سلمان بن عبد العزيز آل سعو, Sultan bin Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud ... no, I'm not kidding) landed with his crew aboard the space shuttle Discovery.  He is best remembered both for no one remembering his name and just resorting to calling him "Al" and slapping him on the shoulder, and being the only crew member ever to be frisked before boarding the shuttle.

On this day in 238 AD, Roman Emperor Maximinus Thrax died.  He is remembered for never having set foot in Rome, for having a name which sounds either like a thrash metal band or a disease, and for having a somewhat bi-polar first name.  That reminds me of a joke.

Hi.  I'm bi-polar.  Are you?  I'm not.

Another emperor, Hongwu (the founder of the Ming Dynasty of China) died on this day in 1398.  If you want to know about the other dynasties of China, let me teach you.

Grover Cleveland, the only president to serve non-consecutive terms (22nd and 24th), died on this day in 1908.  And, while he was not the only president to marry while in office, he was the only one to marry in the White House.  He was 49 and his wife, Frances Folsom, was 21 at the time of their wedding.  If you think that's creepy, listen to this.  Oscar Folsom, Frances' father, was Grover Cleveland's friend.  They were born in the same year.  Cleveland was there for his future wife's birth.  He bought her a baby carriage and other toys as she grew.  When Frances was 11, her father died in a traffic accident.  Cleveland was declared the executor of Oscar Folsom's estate and responsible for Frances' upbringing and education from then on out.

Blech.

There are several important birthdays, today.  Ambrose Bierce was born in 1842.  He fought in the Civil War, which gave him a generally gloomy, pessimistic outlook on the world.  This outlook inspired the creation of the Devil's Dictionary, a truly hilarious compendium of definitions for common words.  Here is his entry for Birth:

BIRTH, n. The first and direst of all disasters. As to the nature of it there appears to be no uniformity. Castor and Pollux were born from the egg. Pallas came out of a skull. Galatea was once a block of stone. Peresilis, who wrote in the tenth century, avers that he grew up out of the ground where a priest had spilled holy water. It is known that Arimaxus was derived from a hole in the earth, made by a stroke of lightning. Leucomedon was the son of a cavern in Mount Aetna, and I have myself seen a man come out of a wine cellar.

OK ... well, that one was just depressing, but most of them are funnier than that.  Bierce disappeared while in Mexico researching the revolution there.  No one knows what happened to him.  And, I think, that's just the way he would have wanted it.

Kathy Troccoli was born on this day in 1958.  I just mention her because I really like this song. And I used to play her when I was a DJ at an AM Christian radio station. 

Four years later, in 1961, Curt Smith (the bassist, keyboardist, singer and songwriter for Tears for Fears) was born.  Here is the literal video for Head over Heels.

Five years later, Hope Sandoval was born.  She's been a member of a number of almost completely unknown bands.  One of them, Mazzy Star (which was basically just her), gained some notoriety in the 90s.  I mention this because I loved Mazzy Star and had a huge crush on Hope Sandoval.  This is the video for Fade into You, probably the high point of her musical career.

Today is also the birthday of St. John the Forerunner (or Baptist).  When St. John was born, his father (Zechariah, who had been mute for the entire pregnancy) was finally allowed to speak.  His first words were a song of praise, preserved in the latter portion of the first chapter of Luke and now known as the Canticle of Zechariah (or Benedictus).  In all Western churches that preserve any kind of a office of daily prayer, this canticle is sung every morning.

His life has inspired a surprising number of icons some of which are, I have to say, pretty badass.  Here's a sampling:

• The Nativity of St. John the Forerunner
• The Life of St. John the Forerunner (sportin' some awesome wings!)
• Mosaic icon (more wings)
• Russian icon of the Forerunner (badass wings again and ... what's that he's holding, oh yeah, IT'S HIS HEAD!!!)
• A more recent icon (showing wings in greater detail and a nice cuppa cranium on the bottom right)

St. John's Eve is kind of a big deal and the source of all manner of traditions, literature and folklore.  This largely stems from the proximity of the day to the Summer Solstice.  Probably, the best known thing connected with St. John's Day/Eve is Modest Mussorgsky's St. John's Eve on the Bare Mountain which eventually came to be known as Night on Bald Mountain.

Mussorgsky was inspired by Nikolai Gogol's short story St. John's Eve.  In short, a farmhand is kissing the farmer's daughter and get's caught.  He's going to be killed, but the farmer's son begs for his life.  So he is banished.  He meets up with the devil in disguise who tells him where to get some gold.  He is told that he must shed blood to get the gold, and they capture the farmer's son (the one who rescued him) for him to kill.  He almost doesn't do it, but then kills the boy, falls asleep for two days, and forgets everything.  Using the gold, he marries the farmer's daughter.  However, the forgotten crime eats at him and he slowly goes insane.  His wife goes to get a local witch to help him.  Upon seeing the witch, he remembers, and throws an axe at her.  She disappears and the farmer's bloody son appears instead.  Then, the devil comes and carries the guy away.

You'd think that would be a plenty creepy story, but not for a Russian.  Nooooo.  Then, the farmer's daughter goes on a pilgrimage.  While she is gone, things start happening around the town.  A roast lamb comes alive.  A chalice bows to an old man.  A bowl starts to dance.  Eventually, the town is abandoned.  The end.

Jeezy Creezy!  What a story!  You can see how that might inspire such a song.  I love Disney's version of it in Fantasia because it reflects both the revel of evil and triumph of good.

 Finally and most importantly, today is the birthday of my sister Dr. Katie Gies, the best veterinarian and one of the best people I know.

History of the Day: 11/24

Happy Evolution Day! On this day in 1859, Charles Darwin published On the Origin of the Species. Ever since then there have been those who mocked evolution, those who mocked those who mocked evolution, and, as always, those who mocked everyone. In other evolution history, Austrolopithecus afarensis, named Lucy after the Beatle's song, was found on this day in 1974. I suppose she had kaleidoscope eyes ... and was tripping.

On this day in 1963, Jack Ruby shot Lee Harvey Oswald on live television. Eat your heart out, Jerry Springer! In other conspiracy news, Joseph Mobutu seized power in the Congo and became president in a coup sponsored by the CIA (showing their characteristic knack for choosing the worst person possible to back). The first thing he did was rename himself Mobutu Sese Seko Nkuku Ngbendu Wa Za Banga or "The all-powerful warrior who, because of his endurance and inflexible will to win, goes from conquest to conquest, leaving fire in his wake." The next thing he did was rename the country Zaire. Then, he embezzled public funds, conducted public hangings, and generally acted like a tyrant for over thirty years until being overthrown by rebels in 1997. When questioned about his rampant evil, he replied:

When a chief takes a decision, he decides - period.

In other words:

I'm the decider.

Happy birthday to Baruch Spinoza, born on this day in 1632. His name is the Hebrew variant of Barack, which means "blessed." Baruch made the mistake of thinking, including postulating that only matter is eternal. If that is the case, then matter is god which is, of course, pantheism. Proving that Jews can be every bit as intolerant as anyone else, the Jewish community issued a cherem against him, kind of a writ of excommunication. It said:

With the judgment of the angels and the sentence of the saints, we anathematize, execrate, curse and cast out Baruch de Espinoza, the whole of the sacred community assenting, in presence of the sacred books with the six-hundred-and-thirteen precepts written therein, pronouncing against him the malediction wherewith Elisha cursed the children, and all the maledictions written in the Book of the Law. Let him be accursed by day, and accursed by night; let him be accursed in his lying down, and accursed in his rising up; accursed in going out and accursed in coming in. May the Lord never more pardon or acknowledge him; may the wrath and displeasure of the Lord burn henceforth against this man, load him with all the curses written in the Book of the Law, and blot out his name from under the sky; may the Lord sever him from all the tribes of Israel, weight him with all the maledictions of the firmament contained in the Book of Law; and may all ye who are obedient to the Lord your God be saved this day.

Hereby then are all admonished that none hold converse with him by word of mouth, none hold communication with him by writing; that no one do him any service, no one abide under the same roof with him, no one approach within four cubits length of him, and no one read any document dictated by him, or written by his hand.

Ouch! Baruch, who renamed himself Benedict (which also means "blessed"), later reasonably said:

I have laboured carefully, not to mock, lament, or execrate human actions,
but to understand them.

Well, that's his first problem right there! Even though he was hated by his peers, he is much beloved today. Jorge Luis Borges wrote this poem about him:

Time carries him as the river carries
A leaf in the downstream water.
No matter. The enchanted one insists
And shapes God with delicate geometry.
Since his illness, since his birth,
He goes on constructing God with the word.
The mightiest love was granted him
Love that does not expect to be loved.

Even Einstein, not known for his poetry or fits of passion, wrote the following lines in a copy of Zu Spinozas Ethik:

How much do I love that noble man
More than I could tell with words
I fear though he'll remain alone
With a holy halo of his own.

Happy birthday to Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, the French artist born on this day in 1864 whose works you've probably seen. And another one to Scott Joplin, the Ragtime composer born on this day in 1868 and best known for Maple Leaf Rag and The Entertainer. On this day in 1572, John Knox died. He was largely responsible for the introduction and eventual dominance of Calvinism/Presbyterianism in Scotland. In his final will, he wrote:

None have I corrupted, none have I defrauded; merchandise have I not
made.

which sounds suspiciously like the 42 Negative Declarations of Ma'at. I wonder if he was a closet Egyptian. As for whether he was a good influence on Scotland or not, I relate this story. I visited several monasteries in Scotland. In one, there were some high crosses which had been smashed by Knox's people. In another, there was a head of a statue of Jesus which had been knocked off by others Knox had inspired, and thrown down a latrine. I'll let you draw your own conclusions.

Diego Rivera, another revolutionary, died on this day in 1957. He was the husband of Frida Kahlo, and a muralist.

Finally, Freddie Mercury, the lead singer of Queen (who was born in Zanzibar!), died on this day in 1991. Of his band, he said:

The concept of Queen is to be regal and majestic. Glamour is part of us, and
we want to be dandy.

He succeeded. I leave you with a fitting Queen melody: Who Wants to Live Forever?

History of the Day: 10/25

On this day in 1983, the U.S. and it's international coalition of really, really small Caribbean allies invaded Grenada to the consternation of almost every other world power. When Thatcher expressed her displeasure (as Grenada was part of the Commonwealth and all), Reagan did that blank expression thing all my students do when I ask them why they have the teacher version of the textbook while working on the chapter questions, and then said, "Well ... ummm ... it's because ... ummm ... you say GreNAYda, and I say GreNAHda ...," at which point Dan Quayle joined in and said, "You say potato and I say ... pee oh tee a ... toe?" Mostly, I'm just embarassed because they called it "Operation Urgent Fury" which, I'm sorry, just kind of sounds like a bowel condition. Happy Birthday to Johann Strauss the II, Austrian composer of the Blue Danube, born on this day in 1825. I tried to think of a good joke for him, but nothing presented itself, and I knew if I tried I'd just be grasping at Strauss. Georges Bizet, the French composer responsible for the opera Carmen (you've probably heard Toreador) was born 13 years later. Of being a composer and musician he once said: What a beautiful art, but what a wretched profession. Speaking of art, Happy Birthday to Pablo Picasso (1881) who, somehow, was able to capture the uncertainty of his age and the human condition by painting the world through beer goggles. Guernica commemorates the bombing of a Spanish town by Germans during the Spanish civil war. Weeping Woman ... well, it's kind of self-explanatory. Crucifixion is an odd one. Although you can barely tell what's going on, it contains all the elements of a traditional rendering of the crucifixion (sun and moon, Mary and St. John, wounds). But my favorite painting of his is Don Quixote. Cool. Two more modern musicians were also born on this day. Jon Anderson (1944) fronted the band Yes. If you tune into your local rock station, you're likely to hear Roundabout or Seen All Good People even today. Remember that 80s movie Legend where Tom Cruise was a woodland kid and Tim Curry was a ginormous devil? Anderson also sang the main theme from that movie, Loved by the Sun. Ed Robertson (1970) is the lead singer and songwriter for Barenaked Ladies. The lyrics to their songs are unbelievably complex, often depressing and usually quite deep (or playful, depending on the song). Here's two of their lesser-known but truly fantastic ditties, When I Fall and What a Good Boy. Geoffrey Chaucer (pictured here) died on this day in 1400. If you haven't read the Canterbury Tales, you should. It's a nasty, nasty book. You'd be surprised. Here's a small excerpt from the prologue to the Summoner's Tale. I'll leave it in the Middle English, but you can get the main gist of his point. This part details a trip to Hell where the speaker is looking for the friars and wonders why he can't find any. Just so you know, the Summoner does NOT like friars: Hold up thy tayl, thou sathanas!--quod he; --shewe forth thyn ers, and lat the frere se Where is the nest of freres in this place!-- And er that half a furlong wey of space, Right so as bees out swarmen from an hyve, Out of the develes ers ther gonne dryve Twenty thousand freres on a route, And thurghout helle swarmed al aboute, And comen agayn as faste as they may gon, And in his ers they crepten everychon. He clapte his tayl agayn and lay ful stille. EEK! Finally, today is the feastday of Saints Crispin and Crispian. Their beagle, Crispy the wonder-dog, didn't make it onto the roster. They are patron saints of cobblers because they acted kind of like those elves in that one fairy tale, making shoes by night so they could preach in the day. The resident king killed them because he wanted a pie and all they could provide him was a shoe. (Get it, get it????) Shakespeare immortalized the day in his play Henry V, when said king rouses his men to battle with one of the truly great inspirational speeches: This story shall the good man teach his son; And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by, From this day to the ending of the world, But we in it shall be remember'd; We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he today that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile, This day shall gentle his condition: And gentlemen in England now abed Shall think themselves accursed they were not here, And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day. Here is Kenneth Branagh (who will be directing the new Thor movie coming out in 2011, hooray!!!) as Henry V giving the speech. And here is the greatest inspirational speech of all time. I listen to it every day right before 5th period. Once more onto the breach, dear friends, once more or close up the wall with our English/Math/Science/Social Studies dead!!

History of the Day: 10/19

In 1781, Lord Cornwallis surrendered to George Washington at Yorktown while (allegedly) an English band played The World Turned Upside Down. You can hear this song, and other protest songs, on the truly fantastic album English Protest Songs by Chumbawamba.

Poetess Edna St. Vincent Millay, died on this day in 1950. She is best known for this snippet, which describes the life of a teacher well:

My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends--
It gives a lovely light!

Johnathan Swift also died on this day in 1745. Although he is best known for Gulliver's Travels, he is a prolific writer of many poems, plays and even A Modest Proposal for population control. He once wrote:

I never wonder to see men wicked,
but I often wonder to see them not ashamed.

Sometimes, reading Gulliver's Travels, I wonder if he was under the influence. Speaking of mind-altering substances, happy birthday to Patrick Simmons, one of the bajillion members of the Doobie Brothers, the band who sang such memorable hits as Jesus Is Just Alright.

Jesus was just all right with two other guys as well. Isaac Jogues was a Jesuit missionary to the Huron until a Mowhawk tribe captured and tortured him, cutting off several of his fingers. He lived as a slave among them, teaching them Christianity, until he was rescued by Dutch traders. But, once freed, he returned as a missionary to the Mowhawk. They blamed him when sickness and crop failure struck the tribe, clubbed him to death and beheaded him on this day in 1646.

That same year, another Jesuit missionary named Jean de Brébeuf was working as a missionary among the Huron in Canada as well. However, in 1649, an Iroquois tribe wiped out the Huron tribe he was with and took him prisoner. He was fastened to stakes and tortured to death by scalping, mock baptism using boiling water, fire, necklaces of red hot hatchets and mutilation. Brébeuf did not make a single outcry while he was being tortured and the astounded Iroquois later cut out his heart and ate it in hopes of gaining his courage. Brébeuf, in an attempt to translate the Nativity story to the Huron, wrote a Christmas hymn called The Huron Carol. Here it is in the original Huron, and the English lyrics.

Finally, today is the Hindu festival of Dasara, which commemorates the defeat of Ravana by Rama and his army of warrior monkeys. I've always thought that every religion should have more warrior monkeys.

History of the Day: 10/18

In 1648, Boston Shoemakers formed the first labor union in the US. This is fortuitous, as they were uniquely suited for a walkout. Moby Dick was published on this day in 1851. There is an interesting discussion on the color white in the book:

Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way? Or is it, that as in essence whiteness is not so much a color as the visible absence of color; and at the same time the concrete of all colors; is it for these reasons that there is such a dumb blankness, full of meaning, in a wide landscape of snows- a colorless, all-color of atheism from which we shrink? And when we consider that other theory of the natural philosophers, that all other earthly hues — every stately or lovely emblazoning — the sweet tinges of sunset skies and woods; yea, and the gilded velvets of butterflies, and the butterfly cheeks of young girls; all these are but subtile deceits, not actually inherent in substances, but only laid on from without; so that all deified Nature absolutely paints like the harlot, whose allurements cover nothing but the charnel-house within; and when we proceed further, and consider that the mystical cosmetic which produces every one of her hues, the great principle of light, for ever remains white or colorless in itself, and if operating without medium upon matter, would touch all objects, even tulips and roses, with its own blank tinge — pondering all this, the palsied universe lies before us a leper; and like wilful travellers in Lapland, who refuse to wear colored and coloring glasses upon their eyes, so the wretched infidel gazes himself blind at the monumental white shroud that wraps all the prospect around him. And of all these things the Albino whale was the symbol. Wonder ye then at the fiery hunt?

My, my! I feel so symbolic. This reminds me of two things, the saddest story I've heard in a while, and my favorite joke:

What is big, purple, and lives in the ocean?

Moby Grape.

In 1929, women were officially considered "Persons" under Canadian law. I'm sure they were all relieved to find that out.

We remember two musicians: John Taverner, an amazing composer of liturgical works who died on this day in 1545; and Charles Gounod, primarily known for his Ave Maria, who died on this day in 1893. In other musical history, the Grand Ole Opry opened in 1925 and the first transistor radio was developed in 1954.