In 637, Ireland had it's biggest battle, the week-long Battle of Moira. The only winners were the Uí Néill (O'Neils or "sons of Neil") who found themselves the only clan in their area large enough to exert any influence, which they did ever after.
Almost 500 years later, another battle was fought in São Mamede, the first step in establishing Portugal as an independent kingdom. Apparently, the battle was fought over the right to put the tilde (~) over vowels, thus confusing the rest of the Romance speaking peoples. It occurs to me that, with a little work, one could make one's mustache into a tilde. And then, one could be a villain who said "nyuh" a lot. Maybe?
Continuing in the military vein, the Battle of Bannockburn was fought on this day in 1314. Although official independence didn't come 'till later, this is considered the beginning of Scottish independence from England. If you've seen Braveheart, it's the last battle, the one led by Robert the Bruce after William Wallace had been killed. Robert the Burns, Scotland's most beloved poet, wrote the unofficial national anthem of Scotland using the same battle. Scots Wha Hae is Robert the Bruce's speech just before Bannockburn. The lyrics are wonderful. I wish our national anthem were that cool. I was fortunate to go to Scotland several years ago. There was a live band performing in a pub I was visiting. The last song they played was Scots Wha Hae. EVERYONE knew it and EVERYONE sang along. I was so happy I'd learned it before I went so I could join in. Very cool.
While I was in Scotland, I got to visit Bannockburn. There's a huge statue of Robert the Bruce which I loved because his horse looks absolutely insane. If that horse could talk, he would talk like Samuel L. Jackson. I know it. It is so. It must be. As an aside, not all of the statues associated with that era are as badass. When I went to the Wallace memorial, I was confronted with (shudder), MEL GIBSON!
Back to history! On this day in 1347, a sudden outbreak of St. John's Dance caused people in the streets of Aachen, Germany, to experience hallucinations and begin to jump and twitch uncontrollably until they collapsed from exhaustion. Witnesses observing this phenomenon wrote,
ICH SHLIEBEN SCNELL ZVIY WELTERSCHNETTER!!which, roughly translated means
They were waving their hands in the air like they just didn't care.In 1509, Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon (his first wife and mother of Bloody Mary) were crowned King and Queen of England. Their coronation song was truly inspiring.
88 years later, in 1597, Dutch explorers reached the island of Java. They were immediately thronged by eager natives attempting to sell them coffee for £4.oo. This caught on quickly and became a global chain known as "Fourbucks" which survives today as Starbucks.
In 1957, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that obscenity is not protected by the First Amendment in Roth v. United States. Those bastards! Your word for the day is grawlix. That's the symbol or symbols used by comic artists to represent obscenity. Speaking of that, I got Josiah an interesting book which traces the etymology of various taboo words. This one has a particularly fascinating history.
In 1985, the first Arab or Muslim in space (سلطان بن سلمان بن عبد العزيز آل سعو, Sultan bin Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud ... no, I'm not kidding) landed with his crew aboard the space shuttle Discovery. He is best remembered both for no one remembering his name and just resorting to calling him "Al" and slapping him on the shoulder, and being the only crew member ever to be frisked before boarding the shuttle.
On this day in 238 AD, Roman Emperor Maximinus Thrax died. He is remembered for never having set foot in Rome, for having a name which sounds either like a thrash metal band or a disease, and for having a somewhat bi-polar first name. That reminds me of a joke.
Hi. I'm bi-polar. Are you? I'm not.
Another emperor, Hongwu (the founder of the Ming Dynasty of China) died on this day in 1398. If you want to know about the other dynasties of China, let me teach you.
Grover Cleveland, the only president to serve non-consecutive terms (22nd and 24th), died on this day in 1908. And, while he was not the only president to marry while in office, he was the only one to marry in the White House. He was 49 and his wife, Frances Folsom, was 21 at the time of their wedding. If you think that's creepy, listen to this. Oscar Folsom, Frances' father, was Grover Cleveland's friend. They were born in the same year. Cleveland was there for his future wife's birth. He bought her a baby carriage and other toys as she grew. When Frances was 11, her father died in a traffic accident. Cleveland was declared the executor of Oscar Folsom's estate and responsible for Frances' upbringing and education from then on out.
Blech.
There are several important birthdays, today. Ambrose Bierce was born in 1842. He fought in the Civil War, which gave him a generally gloomy, pessimistic outlook on the world. This outlook inspired the creation of the Devil's Dictionary, a truly hilarious compendium of definitions for common words. Here is his entry for Birth:
BIRTH, n. The first and direst of all disasters. As to the nature of it there appears to be no uniformity. Castor and Pollux were born from the egg. Pallas came out of a skull. Galatea was once a block of stone. Peresilis, who wrote in the tenth century, avers that he grew up out of the ground where a priest had spilled holy water. It is known that Arimaxus was derived from a hole in the earth, made by a stroke of lightning. Leucomedon was the son of a cavern in Mount Aetna, and I have myself seen a man come out of a wine cellar.
OK ... well, that one was just depressing, but most of them are funnier than that. Bierce disappeared while in Mexico researching the revolution there. No one knows what happened to him. And, I think, that's just the way he would have wanted it.
Kathy Troccoli was born on this day in 1958. I just mention her because I really like this song. And I used to play her when I was a DJ at an AM Christian radio station.
Four years later, in 1961, Curt Smith (the bassist, keyboardist, singer and songwriter for Tears for Fears) was born. Here is the literal video for Head over Heels.
Five years later, Hope Sandoval was born. She's been a member of a number of almost completely unknown bands. One of them, Mazzy Star (which was basically just her), gained some notoriety in the 90s. I mention this because I loved Mazzy Star and had a huge crush on Hope Sandoval. This is the video for Fade into You, probably the high point of her musical career.
Today is also the birthday of St. John the Forerunner (or Baptist). When St. John was born, his father (Zechariah, who had been mute for the entire pregnancy) was finally allowed to speak. His first words were a song of praise, preserved in the latter portion of the first chapter of Luke and now known as the Canticle of Zechariah (or Benedictus). In all Western churches that preserve any kind of a office of daily prayer, this canticle is sung every morning.
His life has inspired a surprising number of icons some of which are, I have to say, pretty badass. Here's a sampling:
- The Nativity of St. John the Forerunner
- The Life of St. John the Forerunner (sportin' some awesome wings!)
- Mosaic icon (more wings)
- Russian icon of the Forerunner (badass wings again and ... what's that he's holding, oh yeah, IT'S HIS HEAD!!!)
- A more recent icon (showing wings in greater detail and a nice cuppa cranium on the bottom right)
St. John's Eve is kind of a big deal and the source of all manner of traditions, literature and folklore. This largely stems from the proximity of the day to the Summer Solstice. Probably, the best known thing connected with St. John's Day/Eve is Modest Mussorgsky's St. John's Eve on the Bare Mountain which eventually came to be known as Night on Bald Mountain.
Mussorgsky was inspired by Nikolai Gogol's short story St. John's Eve. In short, a farmhand is kissing the farmer's daughter and get's caught. He's going to be killed, but the farmer's son begs for his life. So he is banished. He meets up with the devil in disguise who tells him where to get some gold. He is told that he must shed blood to get the gold, and they capture the farmer's son (the one who rescued him) for him to kill. He almost doesn't do it, but then kills the boy, falls asleep for two days, and forgets everything. Using the gold, he marries the farmer's daughter. However, the forgotten crime eats at him and he slowly goes insane. His wife goes to get a local witch to help him. Upon seeing the witch, he remembers, and throws an axe at her. She disappears and the farmer's bloody son appears instead. Then, the devil comes and carries the guy away.
You'd think that would be a plenty creepy story, but not for a Russian. Nooooo. Then, the farmer's daughter goes on a pilgrimage. While she is gone, things start happening around the town. A roast lamb comes alive. A chalice bows to an old man. A bowl starts to dance. Eventually, the town is abandoned. The end.
Jeezy Creezy! What a story! You can see how that might inspire such a song. I love Disney's version of it in Fantasia because it reflects both the revel of evil and triumph of good.
Finally and most importantly, today is the birthday of my sister Dr. Katie Gies, the best veterinarian and one of the best people I know.
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